Why Do We Feel Guilty Treating Yourself?

A few days ago, I had a few hours to kill before clerking a meeting. Rather than go home only to turn back, I decided to treat myself to a nice dinner and walk around the shops before heading back. So, I got Chic-Fil-A and walked around the Barnes and Noble where I ate a blondie.

With still an hour to kill, I headed to Best Buy. It was on my way back to the highway, and I figured why not? I needed to get a Micro-SD card anyways, so it worked out.

After I found the card, I began to walk around to the FitBit section. Since getting my Versa back in June, it has become a habit of mine to check out the bands whenever I go somewhere that sells FitBits. I love changing them, so it couldn’t hurt to look. Right?

Anyhow, I found a package of three bands, one of them a silver mesh band for the smart watch. Keep in mind, I have been looking for one of those for a while. The price was right, and I figured why not?

When I went home, my mom said: well aren’t we self-indulgent? My response: I work pretty hard, so every once in a while, why can’t I reward myself for it?

According to an article on Forbes entitled Why You Feel Guilty When You Spend Money and How To Stop, spending our hard-earned money should be “exciting and not regretful.”

The article cites that a big reason why we feel guilty about doing so is the fear of it going towards something more practical. And, how many people can relate to this? Let’s say you have a rough day at work, and fall in love with a purse at TJ Maxx. So, you buy it. Of course, it is supposed to make you happy. Instead, you feel guilty.

Why is that?

This, the article says, is a result of “lack of planning.” That money you spent on a purse could have gone towards your savings. It could have gone towards rent, or paying a bit extra on your credit card.

Now, how can you get rid of that guilt? The article suggests having a plan for the money in your paycheck, and setting aside some “fun” money. By being able to enjoy your money is actually a sign of financial health.

With that being said, the only time you should really feel guilty is when you’re either dipping into your savings or getting into debt doing so.

Therefore, have a plan people.

With that being said, no one should make you feel guilty about doing that. I have so many friends who complain about money, and that also is a factor when I splurge.

But, here’s my train of thought: if my bills are paid for, and my car has gas in it, then if I want to spend money, I will. I try to be mindful, which sometimes works. And, I work pretty hard, so sometimes I will ask myself what am I working for? when I can’t enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Therefore, for all of you who are staring longingly at something that will make you happy, maybe this is the push you need to treat yourself. Just make sure that everything else is paid first.

Book of the Month: One Day in December by Josie Silver

I don’t know about you all, but I love a good romance. That could be why I’ve devoured nearly every novel that Nicholas Sparks has ever written. And, around this time of year, I could use a good Christmas read to get into the holiday spirit. So, when I looked at the choices for this month’s Book of the Month book, I knew that I had to check out Josie Silver’s One Day in December, a novel that was promised to be similar to the movie Love Actually. Which I haven’t seen, but that is besides the point.

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The book is about Laurie James, an aspiring magazine journalist who is currently working in a hotel. One night after a long and tedious day at work, she finds the man of her dreams while taking the bus home. Both of them stare at each other longly, however, before there is time to make a move, the bus pulls away.

For a year, Laurie searches for the man, known as bus boy. Close to a year after the two have met they found each other. Well, sort of. Laurie discovers that ‘bus boy’ is none other than her best friend’s boyfriend.

The novel then takes the reader on a journey of the character’s highs and lows — from career to love to personal — and then leads them right back to each other to create a tear-jerking ending.

Okay, so the book was beautifully written. I love how it appears to be a Christmas book, but it’s actually more a typical love story of boy meets girl and they go through some stuff to create a happy ending.

Even though it’s typical, I actually loved the novel. It was very easy to get lost in, which is something that I loved. And of course, there were moments where I wanted to scream at the characters ‘get your act together.’

What I really loved about this novel is that it wasn’t cliche. I mean, I’ve read several love stories, and many of them often tip-toed on the line of cheesy. Not this one. I felt like this one was real. Silver channeled the human emotions in an beautiful way, which is something that I really liked about the book.

Now, many people compared this book to Love Actually. I have never seen the movie, so I can not fully testify that it is true. However, I think the novel also has some bits of Sleepless in Seattle — especially the ending. Don’t worry — my spoilers will end there.

Overall, I loved this book. Therefore, if you’re looking for a great holiday read that will grab you and just make you happy, be sure to check out One Day in December.

The Comparison Game

Have you ever had this happen? You’ll be scrolling on your newsfeed, and all of a sudden, you’re staring at a friend’s picture or post with envy. Now, it can be anything. They can be posting about getting engaged. Or, they can be posting about the awesome new opportunity they have. And, as you’re clicking the like button, you can not help but wonder: why not me?

If this hasn’t happened to you, then you are clearly lying. After all, social media does this to just about everyone.

With that being said, why do we do this? We could be happy in our life, until we see someone else. Or, we can be hanging out with a friend, and hear about their relationship, only to wonder if our own is in trouble because we are not doing that one thing like them.

However, this is something that we need to stop — or at least work on in 2019. According to an article on Psychology Today entitled 3 Reasons to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, comparing ourselves to others is dangerous for a number of reasons — the big one being that it’s all an illusion.

I mean let’s get real for a moment. Do we ever post the negative things on Facebook? Someone may post about getting a new job. But, do we post about the many rejections that we received? Or, do we post about the time that we lost our job? Maybe not.

Sometimes, I think social media is a blessing and a curse.

Everyone has their own journey and life, and their own path to follow. Sure, it’s human nature to be jealous of awesome things that others have. But, that doesn’t mean to forget the awesome things that are in our lives right now.

Furthermore, let me add this — everyone is different. For instance, what might feel right for one friend’s relationship isn’t right for you. One friend might get engaged after only knowing her partner for a few months. Another will be a few years. Timing is a weird thing, and truly, it’s different for everyone.

Therefore, I have a resolution for all of you readers if you are caught red handed doing this. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, whether that may be a relationship, an awesome job or even a vacation, take a moment to write a list of all that you are blessed with. Trust me, if you are anything like me, it will be a long one. 

Craft Tutorial: Stretch Charm Bracelet

One of my favorite things to make is a charm stretch bracelet. I love making them because they are simple and quick. They are perfect for those who looking to learn how to make jewelry themselves, and need an easy craft to get through the day. 

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What’s awesome about this project is that it’s something that can be versatile. You can personalize it to be just about any style for anyone on your list.

Interested? Here’s how you make it:

What You Need:

  • Stretchy Cord — I like this one, which you can get at any craft store.
  • Beads of your choice.
  • Charm of your choice.
  • Scissors

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How to Make It:

  1. Cut a piece of stretchy cord that is about three inches longer than you need to make it.
  2. Take your charm, and put it in the middle of the bracelet.
  3. Put beads on both sides of the charm.
  4. Once the bracelet is the size that you want it, tie a double knot.
  5. Pull the strings tightly, and cut excess.
  6. Voila!

Tips and Tricks:

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There are so many different ways to do this. For instance, one of my favorite things to do with this style is to add silver beads to really make it pop. Another design I often go to is one with alternating both pearls and crystals. The options are truly endless!

 

An Avid Reader Uses An E-Reader — Here’s What Happened

Many of my readers will know that I am an avid reader. I am a frequent shopper at Barnes and Noble, and I have unread books scattered everywhere in my home. And, like many frequent readers, I swore that I never would become one of those readers. You know, the ones that would use a Nook or a Kindle.

Now, I was given a Nook as a gift when I was a senior in high school. It was 2011, so it was pretty much meant to be used for the sole purpose of just reading books. I liked it because this tiny thing could store so many books. I didn’t like it because I craved the physical sensation of holding a book in my hand — something that was done for hundreds upon hundreds of generations before my own. So, I let the Nook collect dust for the time being.

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Earlier this year, I went away with my boyfriend and his family to a trip in Boston. Being the bibliofile that I am, I of course took a book. When it came time to bed, my boyfriend’s mother whipped out her Nook. I was first of all amazed that they had color ones, but I also was surprised that tiny little thing held over 300 books.

Needless to say, I wanted to get an e-reader after that. However, here’s the thing. I have over two dozen physical books lying around my house — all of which that were waiting to be read. So, one by one, I began to chip away at them.

Last month, however, I really wanted to read this book called the Hate U Give. The book was expensive everywhere I went — that is except for the Kindle edition (my mom let me use her never used Kindle).

So, I downloaded it.
And, I loved it.

I loved that it was so easy to read it — even easier than reading a physical book. The book  I also loved that I didn’t have to use a reading light if I wanted to read in the dark.

What I also loved was the portability that came with it. Books would often weigh down my purse, which is why I left what I was reading at home. However, an iPad or my Kindle would weigh about a quarter of the weight. Now, I can read as much as I want to — whether at lunch or waiting in an doctor’s office. And, I can see myself using it a ton when I travel — no more weighing my bag down with two or three books. I can just bring my iPad and call it a day.

Needless to say, I’m reading a ton more. Which, as an avid reader, is something that makes me happy.

Therefore, to all of you readers out there, I’m going to advise you one thing. Don’t knock the e-reader until you try it.

Count Your Blessings

Recently, I’ve been working to try to get rid of stuff. I have a tendency to be a bit of a pack rat, and I am currently trying to reduce clutter and make things a bit neater.

So far, it’s been a bit of a slow process. I would get rid of a few items here and there rather than dive in head first to do the project (any progress is better than none — am I right?).

WIth that being said, I recently began to think about something. I am extremely lucky to have the problem where I need to get rid of things. There are so many people out there who don’t have that luxury — or even have enough.

In that moment, I felt blessed. And, developed the desire to dig deeper into my closets for items that I no longer used/or that no longer fit just to help someone who is cold stay warm.

Sometimes, we often forget how lucky we really are. Whether it may be the loving family, significant other, friends that we have in our lives, or even having a roof over our heads, we are lucky. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, that is often forgotten.

So, while you are stressing out about the holidays, or your job, take a step back. In that moment, think of what you are thankful for and what you are blessed to have in your life. Chances are, you’ll probably have a lot to be grateful for.

Therefore, count your blessings this holiday season. And, if you have a moment, try to go through those closets, get rid of things that you no longer use, and donate them. I’m certain that there is someone out there who will be extremely grateful for your generosity.

The Best Books I Read In 2018 . . . So Far!

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is drawing to a close. This year, I was blessed to be able to exceed my Goodreads reading challenge goals by reading over 60 books (my challenge was to read 52). Here are some of the highlights of this year — in no particular order:

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The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Leah On The Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Chocolate Please by Lisa Lampenelli

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

The Dinner List by Rebecca Serle

All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin

Alex Approximately by Jenn Bennett

The Nerdy and The Dirty by B.T. Gotfried

Love and Luck by Jenna Evans Welch

Save The Date by Morgan Matson

Dirty Rush by Taylor Bell

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

The Upside of the Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

A Totally Awkward Love Story by Tom Ellen and Lucy Ivison

Into the Water by Paula Hawkins

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

Famous In Love by Rebecca Serle

Why You Need To Treat Yourself This Holiday Season

Christmastime is here, and you know what that means. You are making your list and checking it twice to figure out who was naughty or nice. However, while you’re thinking about everyone and your mother this holiday season, there should be one person on your list. I know what you’re thinking: one more person? Oh god.

That person should be you.

Okay, so I know that this is the time of year that everyone is pinching pennies to make sure you get enough gifts for everyone. However, hear me out. Black Friday is in a couple of days. Everything is pretty much on sale – including the things that normally don’t go on sale like NOOKS and iPads. This is the time that if you’re going to get anything to get it. After all, I don’t know about you, but I like getting my hands on a great deal.

With that being said, the holidays are about giving. Yes, I know. However, one of the most important things in life is to also self-care. And, sometimes, that is treating yourself to something nice, maybe indulgent, and thinking I deserve this.

Treating yourself can also be helpful in so many different ways too. For instance, have you been putting off getting some new clothes or something else that you may need. And, if Old Navy is having a sale on jeans that you wear and it’s a good price, then why not? Or, if you stumble across something awesome when you’re at the mall that you fall in love with and the price is right, why not get it?

This is my mentality here. Every day, we work hard no matter what we do. Therefore, we deserve something that makes us smile or makes life a little better. Therefore, we deserve to splurge – just a little bit – on something that could make you smile.

And, as said on Parks and Recreation, treat yourself. Trust me, you deserve it. Why? Because you are awesome.

November Book of the Month Review

Liane Moriarty has been one of my favorite authors since I read Big Little Lies last year. Since then, I’ve read almost every one of her books including: What Alice Forgot and Truly Madly Guilty. So, when her new novel was one of the choices for this month’s Book of the Month, I jumped up for joy.

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Her new novel is called Nine Perfect Strangers. The novel is about nine strangers who meet while going to a health spa. The cast of characters are diverse, and includes an ex-sports car, a couple who wants to save their marriage, a family recovering from loss, and a romance author rebounding from a bad review and a bad experience.

Now the health spa is pretty unique, with extreme forms of healing. However, one extreme method of ‘healing’ brings these guys together to create an interesting bond to say the least.

Overall, the book was one of her better ones. At first, the book started off slow. But, as soon as you reach the midpoint of the novel things pick up — and you don’t want to put it down.

One thing that I really liked about this book is that Moriarty doesn’t reveal everything up right up front. The characters are like onions, and you have to peel them one layer at a time. She does this in all of her books, which as a reader makes it enjoyable and keeps it interesting. In this novel, she does this with all of the characters, including Frances the romance novelist. At first, you wonder why Frances is in the state that she is in. Overtime, it is revealed that she was involved in an online dating scam, where she lost some money. 

The only thing I didn’t like was the main character Masha, who has a dark past and reinvents herself — not just once, but several times. And, while she was the villain, it was hard to hate her. The woman almost died, and she lost a child. But, this woman was intense and rude. I’m not sure if this had anything to do with her past, but I definitely didn’t like how she treated her guests. There was definitely something wrong with her, but her intensity definitely intensified things.

With that being said, I highly recommend this book to all of those who are looking for a great read during holiday travel, or just a good book to curl up with to unwind during the holiday season.

DIY Project: Crystal “Carrie” Necklace

Inspired by the necklace that was given to Carrie Bradshaw by Aleksandr Petrovsky, this necklace is one of my favorite pieces that I’ve made lately. And, even though it is beautiful, it is actually pretty simple (and inexpensive) to make.

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What I also love about this is that you can make it any way you want. The one that I made has five beads. However, you can really make it any way you want. For example, you can have it with one simple pearl. Or, you can make it with leftover black beads. The options are truly limitless, which is perfect for pretty much anyone with any style.

So, if you’re looking for a gift for anyone in your life, this might be the perfect thing.

What you need:

  • 1 Eye Pin (I get mine at Jo-Ann)
  • Bead(s) of your choice
  • One chain ( I highly recommend the chain I used, which is from Jo-Ann. It’s made of Stainless Steel, which is perfect for all of those who have allergies to certain types of metal. However, whatever you use, make sure that it has a round link).
  • Wire cutters
  • One round-nose pliers
  • One side pliers.

Steps:

  1. Get your chain, and measure the middle of it. If you have a chain that is 18 inches, mark off a link that is in the middle.
  2. Get your wire cutters and cut that link.
  3. Take an eye pin and put the desired amount of beads on the pin.
  4. Take the end of the pin, and put it forward towards the beads.
  5. Create a loop.
  6. Take your side pliers, and open the loop. Put it one end of the chain. Do the same for the other side.
  7. Voila! You’re done.