I Am Human, Let Me Eat!

Growing up, gym class was my personal hell. Like seriously. I was so bad at it that I used to have to do an extra gym class on top of my normal one.

It goes without saying that I was overweight as well. That went with me, all of the way through my freshman year of high school. I was that person who was in between — I wasn’t skinny, and I wasn’t fat either.

But, back then I wasn’t exactly making the right choices either. I never worked out outside of gym class. My idea of nutrition was french fries for lunch, and followed by more for dinner.

Yeah, I was healthy.

It wasn’t until the middle of sophomore year that I began to work out. At the time, I would put on my iPod and dance around my room like an idiot. Sure, it wasn’t no Jillian Micheals. But I did lose some weight, which is good.

That summer between junior and senior year, I began to become obsessed with healthy eating and weight loss. Every pound suddenly matter. I watched MTV’s I Used To Be Fat religiously. I used MyFitness pal to record every calorie, and exercised way too much. And, whenever I did eat something unhealthy, I would go all out.

When I entered junior year, I soon realized that method of losing weight wasn’t exactly realistic. I found myself hungry all of the time. That winter, as we got blizzard after blizzard, I ate a ton of baked goods. And all of a sudden, all of that weight that I worked so hard to lose, came right back.

Over time, I began to realize that I wasn’t happy with losing weight that way. I mean, I was happy when I was a size 6 versus an eight or a ten. But, I wasn’t eating foods that I loved. I was so obsessed with trying to get thin and losing even more weight, I forgot how to live.

And, that’s no way to live either.

Nowadays, I try to keep a balanced diet. I will admit that I am obsessed with working out. Honestly, that comes from the fact that working out has become a bit of a form of therapy for me. However, I still eat cookies, cupcakes, and chocolate — and I’m pretty damn happy doing it.

Whenever I see things such as a keto diet or any other diet, I always think about this. Sure, it’s fun to lose the weight. But being able to maintain it? That’s even better. Plus, it’s not good for your body to even manage that. And, isn’t the point of working out to be healthy?

At the end of the day, I think that it’s more important to be healthy and happy than the numbers on the scale. Balance is key in everything — including when it comes to weight loss and eating. Working out for me isn’t about being able to look good in a bikini. It’s about being healthy.

So, yes I’ll eat salads and work out along with Jillian Michaels. But, I’ll still eat cupcakes and take rest days. And, when I do, I will savor every moment.