Book of the Month: Normal People by Sally Rooney

Untitled

I am a bit late in reviewing April’s Book of the Month pick. However, better late than never right?

This month, I read Normal People by Sally Rooney. The novel is about Connell and Marianne. At the start of the novel, Connell is the stereotypical, well adjusted popular kid with little money, and Marianne is the outcast. The two developed a connection, then an exploratory relationship.

Over the course of the novel, you see them blossom from teenagers to young adults. Readers will see Connell go through a deep depression, and Marianne in a relationship that is pretty much abusive. All along though, the two maintain a bond — while readers cheer on the sidelines that the two end up together.

So, here’s my thoughts on the novel. It’s a very realistic love story. In many of the novels that I read — ahem many by Nicholas Sparks or Sophie Kinsella — the characters get their act together at some point and ride off into the sunset together. Not going to lie — I am a huge fan of those books. But, with that being said, it’s not always real life.

This novel keeps it real about what it’s like to be in college in the early 2010s — and the relationship that millennials such as myself would share with each other. I liked that the novel kept it real, as spoiler alert, they do not end up together. I liked that brutal honesty, because it felt very real.

Although they did not end up together, I felt almost as though they might eventually do so since the two share a strong bond, a good connection, and they love and care for each other. Therefore, I do have faith that they may end up together.

Now, mental health is one of the major themes in this novel. We see Connell deal with depression — something that is extremely common in relationships. In some ways, Marianne has her own struggles to deal with, as throughout the book, readers get the sense of that when seeing her relationships.

So, what did I think? Overall, this was a good novel. For me, it was sort of in the middle — not the worst that I read, but not the best book that I have read this month. That is partly because I have been reading a ton of Christina Lauren and Colleen Hoover lately — all are books that I just can’t put down.

 

Let Your Money Work To Make You Happy

I shouldn’t buy this, I should save.

I always wanted this, and I have the money, but I still shouldn’t.

I feel so guilty buying this.

How many of you reading this have thought those exact same thoughts – or something similar when buying something or considering doing so? I know I have. Being a millennial with a limited income and a minor shopping addiction has left me with those very thoughts every now and then.

Like most of us, though, I like to treat myself. And, treating myself to something nice honestly is a nice feeling, because the items that I treat myself with are items that I’ve been lusting for years such as my Nook or my Apple Watch.

However, when I do, I can’t help but shake the guilt.

I bought this up with my therapist up recently when I was discussing some of my financial plans. Her response was: it’s not a waste of money if you are investing in something that makes you happy.

Good food for thought.

I began thinking about my relationship with money, and the relationships that my friends have with money. Let’s be honest – everyone has their priority on what they want to spend their money on. For me, my weakness is Barnes and Noble – particularly when I am loading things on my Nook e-reader. For a friend of mine, it’s making sure that they have money to go out.

But, before we get there, let’s talk about the important stuff. Before we can buy the stuff that we love, we have to use our money for the important things – utilities, rent, payments, and groceries. Sure, it is not the most fun thing to have to write out a check for the gas company. However, it’s awfully nice to have heat during a cold night.

Once those are left over, and then you can use your money for whatever, right?

Well, once you make sure that you have gas in your car that is.

Therefore, once we ensure that everything is paid, I think it’s okay to splurge on a little something that makes you happy. After all, we work hard for the money that is in our account? And, sometimes, we need retail therapy to get through our lives.

So, I think that the most important takeaway from this is this – let your money work for you to make you happy.

End of story.

 

Relationships Are A Two-Way Street, Folks

One thing that continually bothers me is seeing a girl essentially lower herself for a guy who essentially does not care about her, or does not put in the same amount of effort that she does.

I get it. It’s not 1950 anymore. Women are more and more taking the reign of the relationship, whether it may be making the first move or splitting the bills for dates Personally, I think that is great, since relationships should be a two way street versus putting a heavy amount of pressure onto the guy to do all of the work or shell out the cash.

But, at the same time, I’ve noticed a shift in the other direction — a shift where it suddenly becomes weighted on the woman to do everything — such as driving to see the person, shelling out the money, and pretty much doing anything to keep the guy happy.

So, I have to ask: is this the new normal of the modern day relationship?

If it is, then I want out. Please give me a one-way ticket on a time machine to 1950.

Call me old fashioned, but I think that the guy should pay for the first date. I think it’s a sign of respect. Depending on the situation, I also think that the guy should pick the girl up. After all, you’re trying to win her over, am I right? Therefore, you need to put the effort in to woo her. And, chances are, she was probably fed on a diet of romance movies and Nicholas Sparks.

However, as time goes on, I think that both the guy and the girl should shell out the effort in the relationship. This is especially true if it is a long-term relationship.

It bothers me more than anything to see someone who always goes out of their way for their partner — only to get the favor not returned. I think both parties should always do whatever they can to showcase that effort. For instance, if someone is consistently doing the driving, and the other party doesn’t make an attempt to help out with that, then that’s a problem.

At the end of the day, I am spoiled in my relationship. My boyfriend picks me up, and pays for a good portion of the meals. Every now and then, I do contribute. I make the drive to see my boyfriend when I can. Not as often as my 86-year-old grandmother would like. However, I think that’s a good medium, since both parties are contributing.

By having that happy medium, I feel as though both parties are respecting each other. Respect is number two in the relationship — right after trust.

And, seeing someone who puts all of that effort into a relationship with the partner on the sidelines? I see no respect there.

So, if you are in this kind of relationship, know that you deserve much better than what you are getting. Why? Because everyone in this world deserves someone that is devoted to them and their happiness. That’s why I get so happy when I see someone spoil their boyfriend the same way he spoils her. I think we all deserve that.

Book of the Month: Daisy Jones and The Six

Untitled

For those of you who didn’t know, I am a huge fan of classic rock music. So, when Taylor Jenkins Reid’s latest novel, Daisy Jones and The Six was one of my choices for this month’s Book of the Month, I knew that I had to chose that one. Now, I’ve always wanted to read her other book, the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, a book that was all of the rage on bookstagram and recommended to me by several friends. Hopefully, I will get to reading that. Anyways, I figured in the meantime, I can get a taste of Reid’s writing by diving head first into this wonderful book.

The novel is about Daisy Jones, a wanderer who just wants to make it in the music business. It is also about the up and coming band, the Six. The two come together on a song entitled Honeycomb, and soon they decide to create an album. However, when lust, drugs and of course, ego gets in the way, it is nothing short of a disaster.

Now, the novel is told in an interview format where each of the characters were interviewed over a period of eight years. I liked that format, because it made the novel go through quickly. What I also liked about the format is that it felt like I was watching a classic rock documentary. That format of writing helped me visualize the story, which I really liked.

I also liked that format, because it helped me see each character’s point of view of the story, whether it may be the chemistry of Daisy and Billy, the commentaries about the music, and so much more.

Furthermore, what I also liked about the book was that it felt like it was an authentic documentation of the ‘70s rock era – you have big egos, hookups and temptation and drug addiction. Addiction rang heavily throughout the novel. You have Daisy’s addiction to the party scene and drugs. You have Billy who struggled with breaking sobriety all while keeping a family. The novel chronicled those addictions and showcased that struggle in a way that was believable.

Overall, I really loved this book. It introduced me to Taylor Jenkins Reid’s work, and made me hunger for more. But, then again, that’s what I love most about Book of the Month – you get to try a little something new. Now, I can’t wait for the TV show. . .

Remembering Mom

27658119_10215555257542930_853290224624169641_n

Whenever I think about my mother, the one memory that always comes to mind is her in her sweatpants and slippers with her iPod shuffle. The iPod was a gift from me one year for Mother’s Day, and since I bought it for her, it was her buddy whenever she cleaned the house. She would always dance around to songs by The Carpenters, Luke Bryan, and her favorite songs Tarzan Boy by Baltimora and Party Train by D-Train.

It has been over a month since my mom has passed away, and as time goes on, it becomes more and more real that she is truly gone. Whether it be a simple realization when I accidentally call her number while driving, only to realize that the phone has been disconnected or thinking that there will never be another Saturday where we will go to the diner for lunch and grocery shopping at Big Y afterwards. Nor will there be another Christmas where she will attempt to get me to wrap presents on my own without her help, only to take them back so she can do them “the right way.”

32325468_10216340472932824_7264129413799739392_o

And, the list goes on. Every time I think about it, it hurts. Truth be told, we take time for granted. Honestly, you think that everyone is immortal, and that someone that is so central in your life like a mother, will be there forever. Or, at least until she becomes Sophia Petrillo. However, the reality is, we never know how much time we have with a person.

My mother was a strong and independent woman who was never afraid to vocalize her opinions. She worked her ass off continuously, and always made sure that her house, garden and car was the cleanest.

However, my mother was a single mother. She had to raise me alone — other than the help of my grandparents. Truth be told, I don’t know how she took care of me, the dog and the house daily. Oh yeah, and maintain a full time job to support the house.

52755282_10218541312832446_4116586029907968000_o

And, she always made sure that I had everything that I wanted and needed. Thanks to my mother, I don’t have a student loan, as she was determined to make sure that I walked onto the stage without a dime of debt. My mother read every newspaper article I wrote, proudly displayed the bracelets that I made (even though sometimes they weren’t always that great), and applauded every good grade that I got. I credit my mom for my love for reading, as she would never deny me a book. She sat through flute concerts, and badminton games — even though I wasn’t the best at either of those. She was the person I always gossiped about my friends to — and the one person that I knew always had my back.

Thinking about the fact that even though she won’t be front and center for the remainder portions of my life really is devastating, whether it may be my wedding day, or if I choose to get a Master’s Degree.

54434191_10218705941428058_944375944460632064_n

But, what gets me through those tear-jerking thoughts are the little and big things she did get to witness: high school and college graduations, the day we bought Maggie home, meeting my current boyfriend, the Saturdays at Big Y, and her screaming “The Curse Is On” every Tuesday at nine when The Curse of Oak Island aired on the History Channel.

In her graduation speech from Chilton, Rory Gilmore said “But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life’s blood, Lorelai Gilmore. My mother never gave me the idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do, or be whomever I wanted to be.” 

That quote single handedly describes who my mother was as a mother.

Thank you, Mom. Thank you for guiding me through the past 24 years.

Book Of The Month: Angie Thomas’ On The Come Up

Angie Thomas’ debut novel, The Hate U Give was hands down one of my favorite books that I read in 2018. So, when her second novel, One The Come Up, was one of the options for this month’s selection, I knew that I had to go with that.

The novel is about 16 year old Brianna, “Bri” Jackson who has dreams to become a rapper. Bri is the daughter of an underground rap legend, and inherited his talents. We are introduced to her as she heads to a rap battle — one that shows off her massive talent.

After her win, Bri records her first song, On The Come Up. The song soon becomes viral, which then puts Bri on the news — but not for the reasons that she hoped. Soon enough, Bri has to decide what is really important.

Meanwhile, struggles await her at home. Her brother Trey, a college graduate, is struggling to find a job and works at a pizza shop to help support their family. Her mom, Jay, is a former drug addict that is struggling to find work after losing her job — leading them down a rabbit hole of poverty and struggle.

I’m going to be honest — I absolutely loved this book. Angie Thomas has a talent of creating genuine characters, which makes it enjoyable to read. You see this in their dialogues with each other, their intra personal relationships and the way they perceive the world. Furthermore, in this novel, you see it more in the musical references. From Notorious B. I. G to NAS, this novel is full of them. I liked it because it gave the reader an insider’s look at how the hip hop world works. That is something that I thought really worked for this novel.

Furthermore, I also loved the subplots of all of the relationships with the characters — whether it may be with Bri and her aunt, Bri and her friends, and Bri with her brother. There is so much to be explored here, including a platonic friendship that has a one-sided crush, and how she was witnessing her aunt fall into the trap of an illegal lifestyle.

However, what I also liked seeing was Bri’s relationship with her mom, Jay. Bri’s mom is a former drug addict, her addiction being the result of dealing with the pain of her late father. I feel like over the course of the novel that we witness their bond growing stronger — especially as they experience trials and hardships.

In addition, I really enjoyed reading about the relationship between Aunt Pooh and Bri. Aunt Pooh was one of the few that truly indulged Bri and her dream to become a rapper. She fueled her with the music that has become her influences. She bought her to her first battle and was named her manager. This relationship is one of the key in the book as well, and something I liked.

Overall, I thought this was an excellent novel and a great successor to The Hate U Give. Angie Thomas is the kind of author that helps you think about the issues in a way that you can relate. And, in this novel, it shows. Therefore, this novel is definitely one to read for all of you young adult readers out there.

Self Care and Significant Others

One of the most important things that we humans can do for ourselves is self care. And, we live in a society where self care is absolutely necessary. Between the added technology, lines blur. With that, you are expected to have that mentality that you are constantly available — whether that means that you are expected to answer an email or just be readily available for any time a text comes through.

Needless to say, taking time for yourself is even more important than ever before. However, it’s not always that easy — you have a ton of responsibilities both personal and professional. And of course, those come with obligations.

One of the biggest commitments we have? Our relationships with our significant others. I think it is important to respect the fact that sometimes we need a break — not from each other, but from life. Every now and then, we need a night at home binge watching Netflix, knitting or just relaxing.

Ever see that episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory had the house to herself because Lorelei went to a retreat with Emily and all she wanted to do was sit at home and watch TV with Indian food? However, Dean still tries to see — and completely ignoring her wishes. That, my friends is something that we should not do. It’s important to hear our partners — especially when they are saying hey I need a night to myself.

However, many people may panic and think that it’s a sign that you don’t love your partner anymore. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s normal not to want to go out sometimes. It’s normal to have the desire to spend time with you. Why? Because it’s important to spend time making sure you’re okay — and that you take care of yourself to be a better partner as well.

The take home message here is to always make sure both you and your partner are taking care of yourselves. And the bigger take home? To make sure you listen to them when they say that they need it.

Self care is important, folks. Make sure you promote it within your personal relationships as well.

An Evolution of Valentine’s Day

In elementary school, Valentine’s Day was the one day where we were permitted to eat chocolate from the final ring from the bell until dismissal. However, in middle and high school, Valentine’s Day was the one day a year when there was some sort of hope in the air. Hope that the object of your affection would somehow magically reciprocate your feelings. Hope that you would get a rose that was delivered by students. Hope that someone would make you swoon just once.

Nowadays, Valentine’s Day is a bit different for me — especially seeing that I am an adult and all. This is my second Valentine’s Day in a relationship with the same person. While it’s just another day at work, it’s still a day where I appreciate my boyfriend who I am very lucky to have.

Up until that point, I never had a valentine. That is, unless you count my dog. As much as I was secure in my single status, I still hated February 14th because I had to log into my social media accounts to see a tribute to everyone’s significant other. It would often leave me wondering, wait, where’s mine? The only good thing was that I could go to CVS the next day and gorge myself on discount chocolate. And, of course I treated myself to something, since I was my own Valentine.

With that being said, Valentine’s Day is a strange day. It’s a day where you tell your significant other — or someone that you hope will be your significant other — how much you love them. But, what? Shouldn’t you tell them that everyday? Well, yeah. Only on Valentine’s Day, you have the pressure to do it with candy hearts, a trip to the jewelry store and roses. And, of course some kind of romance.

Yup. It’s one of the most commercial holidays of the year.

But, seeing it from the perspective of someone who is in a happy relationship, I can say that my valentine is pretty great (even though we actually aren’t seeing each other today due to conflicting work schedules).

And, there is more to Valentine’s Day then what you see in the movies. Quoting Taylor Swift, there is still some “magic in the air.” Maybe that magic is faded a bit as you get older, but at the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is still a day filled with love. Which is the best kind of magic there is.

So, today celebrate love. That can be the love you share with that special person in your life. Or, it can very well be the love you share with yourself, because it all starts with loving you.

Cliche, yes. But aren’t all cliches true?

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Craft Tutorial: Heart Bracelet

Lately, I have been obsessed with making these heart bracelets, which are perfect for Valentine’s Day! And the funny thing? I discovered this design on a fluke when I was making a bracelet for a co-worker. However, I like it enough to make it one of my new go-tos. So, in honor of tomorrow being Valentine’s Day, here’s how to make the bracelet. And it’s inexpensive, and a great gift for your ladies for Valentine’s Day.

What You Need:

  • Crystal beads
  • Silver heart beads
  • Stretchy string
  • How To Make It:
      • Cut a piece of elastic that is about two inches longer than the desired length.
      Put on the first heart on the string.
      Follow the heart with 4-6 crystal beads, depending on how far apart that you want the beads.
      Repeat until you have as many heart beads as desired.
      Now, you have two options here, which are to make the entire bracelet with silver hearts and crystals, or to make a bracelet with a few hearts with the rest crystals. If you want to do option one, just repeat pattern to desired length. If you want option two, do the hearts for as many as you want and just finish with crystal beads to the desired length.
      Once the bracelet is the length you’d like it, tie a knot and cut the strings off. And you’re done!

    Something We All Need To Work On In 2019

    There is something that each and every one of us deserve in our daily lives and interactions. It is something that is so simple and so easy that everyone can do. And, that is to simply work on our communication with each other, and to make sure that we are kinder to one another.

    Honestly, we never know what a person is going through. Let me ask you this. How many times have we assumed that someone who is a bit rude or mean as being an unpleasant person? I have done this myself so many times.

    What we don’t know is that underneath they are struggling with something. That can be that they are dealing with a breakup or a death of a loved one. Or, that they have received some terrible news. Or, they could be struggling to deal with putting a meal on the table.

    Those are the people who need kindness the most.

    Everyone deals with something — am I right? Therefore, since we all do, why is it so difficult for us to try to be more compassionate?

    I have no idea. However, I think that we should at least aspire to do so.

    Therefore, I propose something. I am asking everyone out there reading this to work on trying to be kinder to each other. There are so many ways one can do this. And, they are not that hard. It’s about smiling and saying ‘good morning’ to someone. Or, whenever we want someone to do something for us, being polite about it instead of demanding. Finally, you can also hold the door out for strangers as well. Basically, we can try to work on thinking of the impact of our actions and how they effect others.

    A little kindness can truly go a long way. And, it can be something small, but it may have the impact to make someone’s day. Furthermore, maintaining that positive deposition can help you when times are rough for you.

    With that being said, let 2019 be the year for a kinder you. I think we can do it.