We Need to Do Better for Women: Why President Trump’s Speech Was Offensive

Yesterday, Donald Trump addressed a rally Tuesday night in Mississippi. At this rally, he took the time to mock Christine Blasey Ford in a way that was beyond offensive to women everywhere.

Before I continue, I want everyone reading to know that this post isn’t political. This post is simply written to express my feelings with this speech.

If you haven’t seen or heard the speech, here’s what went down:

  • He mocked Dr. Ford’s gaps in memory.
  • He defended Kavanaugh by saying his life was “shattered” by her claims, and said that she should be thrown in jail for coming forward with her story. The topping on the cake was when he said that all of those who defended her are evil people who wanted to “destroy people.”
  • He said that this is a very scary time for men.

When I first heard these comments, I was disgusted. This man saying them was our president. And, these comments are offensive to women everywhere.

First and foremost, here’s why there are gaps in her memory. This event was pretty traumatic for Ford. I think that we all can agree on that. When it comes to trauma and dealing with trauma, in the efforts to cope, victims will have gaps in their memory. That’s normal.

According to a page on Wikipedia entitled Memory and Trauma, repressed memory is an effect of psychological trauma. The theory, according to the page, is that it was “removed from the conscious mind,” due to the fact that it has been kept in shame or fear. Wouldn’t assault be considered to be a cause of fear? I would think so.

However, what really troubles me is how much of an effect these comments could have on the younger women. Imagine if you’re a sixteen year old who watches her parents agree with these comments made at this rally. A few years later in college, this same woman gets raped at a college party. Instead of feeling like she is believed by those around her, she suppresses that same memory instead of getting the justice she deserves.

Now, is that the America we all want?

Nope.

We have been making such strides in women’s movement and sexual violence awareness with both the #MeToo movement and the Cosby Trial. Women have been seeing justice and the wheels have been turning. We have reached a new era in getting women believed. We have reached a new level in awareness.

What our President said was beyond appalling and sickening. And, not true. The fact that he said that simply reflects on the fact that we sadly live in a world where boys will always be boys and not responsible for their actions.

I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way, but it upsets me to hear comments like this. I mean, let’s think about this for a second. If every man thought like this, this would lead us down a dangerous path. I don’t want to prohibit women from reporting their assaults, simply because they are afraid that they are not going to be believed. There are many reasons why a woman would not report, and they all stem from fear. Fear of not being believed. Fear of repercussions from that behavior.

We need to erase that fear. We need to celebrate the bravery of the victims for at last coming forward and making their voices and stories heard. And, this is for both men and women. Therefore, the words of our President need to be muted. They were outrageous and inappropriate. And, while we live in a society with freedom of speech, we live in a society where women everywhere need to feel safe too.

Let’s work towards that.

Get Ready To Get Spooky! Here’s My Spooky Book Bucket List For This Year

Now that it’s October, it’s officially spooky season. So, break out the candy corn, decorate the pumpkins, and watch all of the scary movies you can. Personally, October means that I can watch It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown as much as I want, but everyone has their own preferences.

With that being said, I also wanted to take this month to read a few of the horror books on my TBR list. Therefore, here are the spooky books I want to get to this month. Hopefully, I’ll be able to read them all, but let’s see how many I’ll be able to get to:

  1. Carrie by Stephen King
  2. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
  3. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson
  4. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell
  5. IT by Stephen King

September Book of the Month Review: The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock

This month’s BOTM (Book of the Month) bought me a bit out of my comfort zone — to historical fiction. Typically, I tend to opt out of it due to the fact I often like to read contemporary works. However, when faced with the choices for this month’s Book of the Month, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock by Imogen Hermes Gowar grabbed my attention.

41840656_665480447169729_3203093644789678080_n

The book is set in London 1785. Widower Jonah Hancock is faced with a surprise when his captain sells his ship and brings home a mermaid instead. Jonah is faced with the problem of what to do with that mermaid.

Meanwhile, Angelica Neal is faced with problems of her own. She is a prostitute, and her most recent gentleman is no longer interested in her. As a result, she is trying to figure out what’s next.

Thanks to the mermaid, these two meet and collide and are set for a tale of ups and downs.

I have no idea what genre to classify this genre in. There are elements of fantasy, romance, and of course, historical.

With that being said, I still think that this is an awesome read, and it really kept me guessing. The author took me for a loop quite a few times while reading it — some of it not as realistic. However, that still made it an awesome read.

Furthermore, I thought the portrayal of the mermaid was really well done. I thought Gowar did a good job doing the point of view of the mermaid — someone who was held captive against her own will.

With that being said, I also thought the character Angelica Neal was very interesting. Angelica definitely changed the most from beginning to end. She was the most glamorous girl of her business at the beginning and only cared about trivial things. By the end, she transformed into a wife. That transformation was bought on by a marriage. However, it was amazing to see the moral turnaround of her.

Therefore, I really liked this novel and recommend it. While it is something I would have not picked up normally, I loved every minute of it. Therefore, don’t judge a book by its’ genre. . . right?

DIY Jewelry Tips For Beginners

Whether it’s because you saw an awesome craft idea or just want to have something fun to do, you’ve decided that you want to learn how to make your very own jewelry. However, you’re standing in the jewelry aisle at your craft store, and you’re puzzled. What is an eye pin? Do I really need to spend this amount of money on a pair of pliers – that I may or may not use? Which beads are the best ones for me?

42045268_666646110386496_364517885910974464_n

Have no fear. If you’re interested in DIY jewelry but have no idea where to start, here are some tips to get you started.

Online craft tutorials are your best friend.

The best thing about the Internet is that you can find pretty much anything. The same thing goes with tutorials. You have a ton of ideas at your fingertips, and the best part is, they are all free.

Hands down the first place to check out is Youtube. What I like about it is that you can type in whatever you want to make, and within seconds, you have a step-by-step guide of someone doing the craft with you. This is awesome because you get to see what someone is doing, not just read it.

Another awesome site to check out is the Michaels Project Page. They have so many ideas, and give you a run-down on what exactly you need. What is great about this site is that they separate them based on difficulty. That way, you can know your skill level – something that is very important. After all, you don’t want to start doing something that is extremely difficult, only to get frustrated.

And, the best part? They have an app with a ton of different projects.

Lastly, check out Pinterest. Pinterest is a great place not only to get tutorials, but ideas. I don’t know about you all, but I spend a ton of time just looking at things I want, whether it may be a bracelet or a necklace. Why don’t you turn these wishes into reality? Google for a tutorial, and the next thing you know, it’s materialized into an actual physical object.

Take a class.

In the summer between sixth and seventh grade, I decided to take a beading class at my local Michaels. That class taught me a ton about how to make jewelry that actually didn’t look like you made it. It definitely helped me get started in making things, and had a ton of different tips. One downfall of these classes though is that they can be pretty pricey, which can be tricky when you’re on a budget.

Get ready to clip those coupons. . .

Let’s be honest, beading supplies are expensive. Depending on what you’re making, you have to get tools, beads to make the actual project, and string. That can rack up a major bil.

However, craft stores often come out with a ton of coupons. And, if you play your cards right, you can get them at a fraction of the price. For example, many of them offer 50 percent off of one regular priced item. So, that set of tools that was once $20 is no $10.

Furthermore, beads are often on sale for usually half off of more. And, on top of that, many craft stores often have coupons where you can get an extra percentage off of your total purchase. And, yes that includes sale items.

Get kits.

One of the best ways to get started is also to get DIY kits that are out there. And, these are not the bead sets that you got as a kid. You can make DIY layered necklaces, wire bracelets and so much more. What’s great about these kits is that you can get everything you need, and the instructions. Both of which are crucial.

Always cut strings longer than you’ll need.

Let’s say you’re making a stretch bracelet that is supposed to be seven inches. Therefore, you should cut at least an extra inch. That way, you’ll have some breathing room, and of course, room to tie knots. One piece of advice from my grandmother is that you an always cut off stuff, but you can never put it back.

Furthermore, if you’re making a gift for someone and you’re not sure their size, always go bigger. It’s always better for them to have extra room then it is to be too tight for them to fit.

Check out Etsy.

Etsy has the best craft supplies ever. Many of these beads are decently priced, and you get a wider selection than you would at the craft store. So, if there’s something specific that you’re looking for, whether it may be a certain charm or a specific color of beads, check out Etsy if your local craft store doesn’t have it.

Self Care Tips for the Busiest Person

If you didn’t know this already, September is Self Care Awareness Month. And, I can not stress this enough. Self care is important. 

And, okay. I know what you’re thinking. I don’t have time to self care. Some of you reading this are in college and are juggling classes and part time jobs. Others are balancing jobs, kids, and everything else. But, no matter what your situation is, you gotta take care of you. Otherwise, it will catch up to you. Trust me.

So, if you’re one of those people, here’s some tips to help take care of you. Trust me, they are easy.

  • Get a day planner

In college, a day planner was my saving grace. I wrote down everything from when I needed to be in work, deadlines, and classes. I also kept track of important dates, which helped me stay organized.

Nowadays, my planner serves a different purpose. I use it now to keep track of articles I need to or want to write, my work schedule for both jobs, events for the commission I serve, and social things. Having it all in front of me really keeps track of everything so I can accomplish it, and balance.

I highly recommend everyone with a busy schedule to get a planner and write everything in there. You don’t need to carry it around, but having a guide to help you through the week is surely helpful.

  • Take your lunch break.

So many people often work right through their lunch or cut it short in the efforts to get much more done. I mean I’ve done it too. However, my question is why? First of all, we need to eat. Second of all, we need a break. Even if it’s only a few minutes, it’s all we need to recharge our batteries and give us time just to relax. This helps us avoid burnout.

If you’re one of those people, try my trick to ensure that you do take your break. Either buy food, which prompts you to get out of the office, or do an errand or two while on lunch. That way, you’ll feel more accomplished, and get a minute away.

  • Block off a time of the week that is devoted to me time.

Since I still work part-time, I have a few days a week where I have an afternoon off. For instance, I am off every Monday. I used to schedule appointments or hang out with my boyfriend during that time. But, now I just use it as my chance to go home and watch TV (or do whatever). Having that time off is so important, because I am so relaxed afterwards.

At the end of the day, we all need that crucial ‘me’ time. For some, it’s a Saturday night reading. For me, it’s watching crappy reality. Whatever the case may be, be sure you do so. That way, you can truly recharge and just do you.

  • Make sure you take care of your health.

This one is pretty easy — go to your doctor’s, put sunscreen on before you go outside, eat veggies, and exercise. By putting your health first and living a healthy lifestyle, you are truly living your best life.

  • Be proactive. 

I recently decided to get a snack and drink drawer in my office. Additionally, I also put a few extra things that I sometimes forget to bring with me, such as tissues and feminine care products, in there as well.

By being proactive, I can help avoid stress (at least a little bit). Therefore, try to be proactive in any way you can. Trust me. You’ll thank yourself later.

  • Be easy on yourself. 

It’s hard to do this, but try to avoid being hard on yourself. And, as a perfectionist, I know that it can be challenging sometimes. However, I know that you can do it. I’m working on it too.

There are several ways we can do this. One way is to focus on all that you have done, not on the things that you have. I know we have mountains of to-do lists on our plates. But, it’s not worth kicking ourselves for the things that we didn’t do.

Furthermore, another way we can do this is try to be nice on ourselves when something goes wrong. For instance, if you didn’t do so great on an exam, instead of beating yourself up for it, just remind yourself that you did the best you can. Same goes when final grades come out.

The more that we remind ourselves that we are awesome, the less that we focus on the negative. Chances are, you’ll feel a whole lot better about whatever if you approach anything in life with that mindset.

Book vs. Movie: Crazy Rich Asians

I did something that’s a bit unusual for me — I saw the movie before I read the book. Usually, whenever I’m interested in a movie or TV show that was originally a book, I have to read the book first. That usually results in me usually never seeing the movie and reading the book about a month after the movie leaves theaters.

However, Crazy Rich Asians was a bit different. I saw the movie as I was reading the book.

But, let me say this — both were pretty amazing.

General Synapses:

Crazy Rich Asians tells the story of Rachel Chu who is invited by her boyfriend, Nick Young, to go to his best friend’s wedding. Little does Rachel know that her boyfriend is hiding a very big secret — that his family is a millionaire. And, that family could be the very reason that could tear them apart.

Book vs. Movie:

I’m not going to lie — I absolutely loved them both. The movie was one of the best that I’ve seen in a very long time, and while the book was well over 500 pages, it was a damn good book. And, the movie and book were pretty similar.

But, there were a few differences. Most of them were minor details.

The first is that there is a ton more backstory in the book — which I get. When you take a 500 page novel and turn it into a movie, somethings do have to go. With that being said, some of the backstory was pretty interesting. For example, it was interesting to read about Eddie’s (one of Nick’s cousins) marriage. We see a bit of him in the movie, but it is a totally different game in the book. And, in the end, his wife ends up leaving him at the wedding — something that didn’t happen in the movie. And, another change is that Peik Lin got invited to go to the party at Nick’s grandmother’s house — something that didn’t happen in the book.

What was also different between the two is the Eleanor (Nick’s mother) and Rachel relationship. Eleanor hated Rachel because she didn’t think she was good enough for Nick. In the book, they didn’t meet until later on, and she was very stand offish until she revealed the truth about Rachel’s past. In the movie, they met at the party, where she was cold to her. Throughout the movie, she was trying to get to Rachel and said flat out mean things to her. This didn’t happen in the book.

But, the biggest difference is the end. And sorry to those who have yet to read the book or see the movie, I’m about to spoil it. So, if you want to avoid spoilers, stop reading. Now.

In the movie, Nick proposes to Rachel twice — once in the park where she refuses and on the plane ride home, where she accepts. In the second proposal, she gets Eleanor’s ring. The movie ends with them being treated to a luxurious engagement party. The book ends with no proposal, although Rachel and Nick are reunited. They end up going out to dinner with Rachel’s mom and Peik Lin.

Overall?

I highly recommend both the book and movie. They are different enough to see one without ruining the other. Therefore, if you haven’t, go see and read Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. And if you choose the movie first, I guarantee that you will laugh out loud the entire time.

Book of the Month August Reviews

38839994_10217018079472564_4274735324271214592_o

August marked the first month for me being a member of the Book of the Month (BOTM) Book Club. Since I am a new member of the club, I was allowed to get an extra book for free, which was awesome. The books I chose were The Dinner List by Rebecca Serle and Goodbye Paris by Antsley Harris.

The Dinner List by Rebecca Serle:

Synopsis: Everyone has done this at least once in their lives — pick five people who you would like to go to dinner with, dead or alive. However, how many of us have actually had the opportunity to actually do so?

Sabrina walks into her 30th birthday party thinking that it’s just going to be another dinner with her best friend, Jessica. However, when Audrey Hepburn, her old college professor, her ex-boyfriend, and her long lost father show up, that’s when she knows that she is in for a weird evening. What unfolds is a tragically beautiful love story, told in the midst of an awkward dinner.

38898966_10217018078832548_9086387589706940416_o

Review: Okay, so I am going to be honest here. I chose this book because I love Audrey Hepburn. However, this book was absolutely amazing and extremely well-written. It also is, if you’re looking for a book to read, an easy and fun read.

What I liked most about the book was how realistic it was. Sure, it’s a bit of a fantasy when you have dead people in the mix. However, the emotions of the characters were really realistic. For instance, you can see the strain in Sabrina’s relationship with Jessica over the years — their frustrations due to Toby (Sabrina’s ex) and how they drifted apart. I thought that this realistically showed the transformation of female friendships throughout the different stages of life.

And, while the story was really well-written, the ending was absolutely beautiful. In fact, it is one of the only books to have the ability to make me cry. That is an extraordinary feat within itself.

Overall, I absolutely loved this book (and highly recommend it).

Goodbye Paris by Antsley Harris:

Synopsis: Since the traumatic end of her music career, Grace has found comfort in both fixing instruments and her affair with partner, David. But, here is the kicker, David is married. The two have been together for over eight years, until one incident at a train station unravels all of his secrets — one that they can never return from.

Suddenly, Grace is forced to rebuild her life — one of which that doesn’t involve David. This becomes a success with the help of an unlikely combination of an elderly man and a teenage girl.

Review: Okay, so I had a problem with this book on a number of levels for the first half. The first is that Grace was so stupid. I mean after eight years, chances are the relationship is going anywhere if he hasn’t left his wife already. Furthermore, she was blind to so much. The relationship that she shared with David was built on nothing but pure fantasy — that one day that they will have their own child and get married.

Guess what?

It never happened.

However, I did enjoy reading the other half of the book. I liked reading about Grace pushed through her sadness and worked through her anxiety. And, I did think her reaction to the end of her relationship with David was perfectly normal. I mean, if a guy that I was seeing for eight years betrayed me, I would be a little distraught.

With that being said, this was a fifty-fifty for me. While I liked the second half, the first half was pretty slow. But, I still recommend it.

Book Review: Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Move over Rainbow Rowell, John Green, and Sarah Dessen. There is a new YA author in town — Becky Albertalli.

Becky Albertalli is the author of three wonderful books — all of them intertwined. They are: Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, The Upside of the Unrequited, and the latest, Leah On The Offbeat.

37353527_611093859275055_8986833176953356288_n

The book is the sequel to Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda. And, it was an amazing sequel.

It was told in the point of view of Leah Burke, who is the best friend of the protagonist of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, Simon. Leah is different than many of her friends. She was raised by a single mom, and as a result, doesn’t have the same amount of money as they do. And, as prom and college grow closer, it becomes a reminder of that.

With that being said, Leah is also hiding a secret from her friends — that she is bisexual. Of course, she would be accepted by them. After all, she is best friends with Simon Spier who has been madly in love with Bram since the first novel.

But, that’s not the only secret that Leah is hiding. Leah has a secret crush on someone. At first, she thinks that this is only a friendship, but over time, it blossoms into something more than Leah could have ever anticipated.

And what does this turn into? One of the greatest young adult novels to portray the end of high school in a long time.

First off let me say this: I love, love, loved reading this book — so much that I ended up reading it in two days flat. The characters were amazing. They all were easy to fall in love with, and were relatable — even as a 20 something. Furthermore, they were realistic — some of them were queer while others were straight. Definitely a good portrayal of a modern high school.

I loved how it realistically portrayed Leah’s friendships — especially as she fought with a friend over a comment made. I found myself cheering for her as she stuck up for Abby.

However, what I really loved reading about was Leah’s relationship with Simon. It was very similar to my relationship with my gay best friend and it reminded me so much of that.

Nostalgia factors aside, what I also loved about the book, is the ending. It was cute and very swoon worthy. I am a huge fan of cute endings that tie up nicely, and Albertalli did an amazing job with that.

All in all, this book was wonderful. The only bad thing about it for me was that it ended too quickly. However, it’s a book that I do plan to reread down the line.

So, if you’re looking to read this book — or its predecessor– I highly recommend that you do so.

Why Kim Kardashian’s Weight Loss Comments Are Flat Out Offensive

Kim Kardashian isn’t exactly my favorite celebrity. Recently, my opinion of her downgraded even further — if that was even possible.

On Sunday, Kardashian’s sisters Khole and Kendall Jenner complimented her weight loss. These compliments weren’t just the typical oh you lost weight, you look great ones. Oh, no. According to an article in Women’s Health entitled Why Kim Kardashian’s Weight Loss Comments Are So Toxic, her sisters said that she looked “anorexic.” Kendall expressed concern about Kim’s weight, while Khole said “I’ve never seen a human being look this good. You are a walking Face Tune doll.”

Kim’s reaction? “Oh my god, the compliments!” She then said that she’s down to 119 pounds.

As you could imagine, this is pretty much screwed up. And, this can trigger someone who suffers from an eating disorder. These comments are ignorant and offensive to those who actually suffer from an eating disorder.

Imagine if you’re a young girl whose already insecure about her body weight, and you’re tuning into this Instagram. You’re a huge fan of the Kardashians, and you see that. You’ll think that if she’s this weight, and you’re not, then you’re the one who is overweight. And, that’s not true at all.

Furthermore, this discussion is offensive to people who suffer from an eating disorder. First and foremost, they said that they are so “skinny that she’s anorexic.” And, it was taken positively!

As you and I both know, anorexia isn’t a positive thing. It is a dangerous one. It can send someone down a dangerous path — especially if someone is recovering.

According to the article, many people on social media referred to these comments are triggering. And, they are not wrong. A trigger, according to the article, is something that is “defined as something that sets off cravings in recovering individuals.”

This, as you can imagine is triggering. They are practicially glorifying her weight loss, and the importance of being skinny. Not good.

Furthermore, what’s more alarming is that Kim mentioned a specific number for her weight. For anyone listening to that, especially with someone with an eating disorder, they make think ok, this is where they are at. I need to get lower than that. 

Additionally, it’s also offensive because they are freely using the term anorexic. Saying that someone is so skinny that they are anorexic is offensive. It means that they need to be that dangerously skinny to be considered normal or beautiful.

And, that is seriously screwed up.

That’s definitely not good for someone to hear in recovery. Or, anyone in general. It’s offensive and insensitive.

And, believe it or not, people really do look up to the Kardashians. Hearing this conversation could only lead fans down a dangerous road — or even spike an eating disorder.

With that being said, this just shows how culture portrays weight — and how crazy it in fact is. Your weight is just a number. Remember that. It doesn’t matter if you are a size zero. It matters that you are eating a balanced diet and exercising. And yes, that includes the occasional cupcake. Treat yourselves, guys.

At the end of the day, being “skinny” shouldn’t be an aspiration. Being healthy should be.

6 Books On My TBR Shelf That I Can’t Wait To Read

As an avid reader, it’s safe to say that my TBR (to be read) pile is massive. And, that assumption is accurate. I often buy books at a lot faster rate than I could ever read them.

However, as I work through my TBR list, here’s a few that I’m dying to get to. My goal is to get to them by the end of the year, but who knows?:

  1. The Other Boyelin Girl by Philippa Gregory: I have been wanting to read this book for years. I started it when I was in high school, but never finished. A few years later, I did end up buying the book, but never read it. However, it’s something that has always been on the back of my mind, and something that I’ve wanted to read.
  2. All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr: I started to read this book, only to put it on the back burner due to the fact that I wanted to read another book I got. However, I heard great things about the book, so it’s something that I always wanted to return to.
  3. Surprise Me by Sophie Kinsella: This is my latest book purchase, but that doesn’t stop my eagerness to get to it. If you didn’t know, I am a huge Sophie Kinsella fan. I’ve read every almost book that she’s written as Sophie, and now am diving into the books she’s written as Madeline Wickham. Therefore, I am so excited to read this book, because she is one of my favorites.
  4. The Last Anniversary by Lianne Moriarty: Over the past year, Lianne Moriarty has become one of my favorite authors. I started out with Big Little Lies, which definitely lived up to the hype, and then continued my way to her bibliography. This novel is the last one on my list, and needless to say I am eager to read this before her October release.
  5. Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger: A true classic. Therefore, it’s something that I wanted to check off of my reading checklist.
  6. Carrie by Stephen King: Recently, I’ve been getting into Stephen King’s books. I only read one of them, however, I want to get into more. The next one on my list? Definitely Carrie.

Have you read any of these? Let me know in the comments below.