I am 25 years old and I have been blogging about relationships for ten years. So if you do the math, I have been blogging about relationships since I was in the high school hallways. Now, many of those who were in those hallways with me are either engaged, married, or have kids. Or, some combo of the three.
For me, that is mind blowing. I don’t know why, but it’s still bizarre to me that people my age are getting married. But then again, I am in my mid-twenties.
I have begun to think about the pressure that sometimes exists about getting married. That pressure can come from anyone — from family, from friends, and of course, social media. But, what those who give us that pressure are blind to see what is right for us.
For example, I just read Mr. Maybe by Jane Green. Libby, the main character, feels pressured to get married from her mother — which ended up causing her to almost marry the wrong man. Throughout the novel, Libby often refers to her age as being a source to try to land a man.
But, when we feel that pressure, sometimes we end up making choices that are not right for us.
Now, I am turning 26 in a few months. My boyfriend is 27. We’ve been dating for almost three years. Some may say that we are on the path to getting married. Others may ask why we aren’t there yet.
The true answer?
It’s no one’s damn business.
Truthfully though, we both know that we are not ready to make that commitment. And, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. It doesn’t mean that we don’t want to now. Or even next month. It means that we are on our own path.
Which I believe is perfectly okay.
Now, there are so many aspects of how pressure can be applied in life. For instance, Sex and the City broadcasts that societal pressure of women needing to find a man. This in turn causes women to feel like rejects just because they don’t have a husband or a boyfriend.
And, these are successful woman.
At the end of the day, I have seen many girls put their relationship on a timeline — something that creates pressure. I have seen so many others put so much energy into finding a relationship — myself included — when the energy should have been centered into getting to know the person.
I believe that everyone has their own story, their own path, and their own timeline. To me, everything happens for a reason. This is why there is not a need to put any pressure on it. I know that this is a laid back approach to life, but at the end of the day, that’s all we can truly do.
Can you believe that it is the end of April? I am so ready for May it’s not even funny. I am hoping that this month marks the end of the quarantine, but we shall see.
Anyways, here are my favorites for this week:
Nespresso Vertuo:
I have been wanting a Nespresso for a while now. I love lattes. However, I got the milk brother from Keurig instead, seeing as I already had a Keurig coffee maker. After a month, it was no longer working. I mean, it wouldn’t froth, and it really didn’t taste that great. Since Starbucks is pretty much closed, and I really can’t get into the ones that have drive throughs, I decided that it was time for me to invest in this. I purchased a package from QVC, so I got a package with 62 pods, the frother and the machine for $180.
And let me tell you that was the best thing I have ever purchased. The coffee tasted amazing. It was as good, or even better than the Starbucks that I craved — and probably cheaper. And, here’s the crazy thing — it is a lot simpler than it looks. I thought that this was going to be a crazy complicated machine, and it’s not. And, that makes me so happy.
Definitely the best investment ever — especially if it breaks my Starbucks habit.
Jane Green Books:
I bought a few Jane Green books a while back at my local bookstore. I had heard about her on Instagram, and wanted to give them a try. They have been sitting on my shelf for six months. However, I was determined to finally read them during the quarantine, since I am a fan of Emily Giffin and Sophie Kinsella.
I picked up one of her later books, Falling, and well, I fell for it. I flew through that one, and fell in love with the characters, the plot and the writing. It is about our main character Emma, who is a retired banker who rents a cottage in Westport Connecticut to figure out what’s next for her. She meets her landlord Dominic, and she fights an attraction to him, only to lose. The two fall head first in love — that is until tragedy strikes.
Jane Green is deemed one of the queens of chic lit and I can see it now. I am currently reading Mr. Maybe, and I am flying through that novel as well. Once, I finish that, I downloaded The Friends We Keep and am going to read Tempting Fate or Straight Talking (it was on sale a while back) after that. Seriously, though. It’s been a while since I’ve loved an author this much, so I am enjoying that I get to add a new favorite. If you’re looking for a light read, definitely check out these amazing books.
Lonely Hearts by JoJo: New JoJo music is always worth mentioning — I cant wait until Good to Know comes out in two days! That said, this is a great song and I highly recommend you listen to it.
I have been crocheting for a little over a year now. Crocheting is something that has been relaxing for me. I love it, because it is extremely therapeutic.
Since I began to crochet, I’ve completed quite a few projects and have made a lot of gifts.
Here’s what I’ve made for myself since I started crocheting:
Purple and Blue Afghan:
This blanket took me forever to make. In fact, it took me a little over a year. This is technically the first item that I started, but not the first that I’ve finished (I made a friend a baby blanket while doing this). This was a single crochet, and consists of five different colors.
Scarves:
I love infinity scarves. These scarves were so quick and easy to make, and they are so warm. Making scarves are such a quick and easy gift for anyone, and make great Christmas gifts.
Hat:
This is the first hat I made while crocheting in the round. It also amazed me how easy that this was to make — in fact, it took me less than an hour to do. I have yet to wear this, but I am so excited to wear it in the winter. I’m also sure that this will be a go to Christmas gift for me this year as well.
Thick Throw Blanket:
This blanket took me a little over a week to make. It is made out of Bernalt Blanket Yarn, which is so soft. Because it’s a chunky (size 6) yarn, it accumulated quickly. Once I got halfway through this, I decided to order a wine color to make a throw for my recliner downstairs. This is definitely a great beginner project, because it’s simple and quick.
Pillow:
I decided to take the pattern from the hat and crochet this throw pillow for my bed. It was pretty easy to do, and looks great on my bed. I do plan on making another one for my recliner as well.
Nook Cover:
I found this pattern on YouTube for a Kindle cover, so I decided to make one for my Nook. This was very simple to make, and took no time. I like this one because it adds some extra padding to the Nook, which gets dropped quite a bit.
In addition to the stuff listed here, I’ve made a few scarves, and coffee cozies as gifts. Currently, I am working on a pink and gray blanket (see above), and a little yellow throw blanket.
Last weekend, I participated in the Stay At Home Readathon. This is actually my second one that I’ve participated in ever, and this one didn’t go as well as the first.
You can check out my TBR, but it’s oblivious that I was too ambitious. I knew right off of the bat that I wouldn’t be able to read four books in four days. But, I ended up reading one full book during this time, and finished up the current book and audiobook that I was reading. And, since the book that I read was something that has been on my TBR for years, I am still pretty proud of myself.
Thursday:
I started off my morning as if I do every morning — with a cup of coffee and a book. I was still finishing up Most Likely by Sarah Watson, and I had to get Sadie done before my audiobook was due back. I was able to get some of the physical book done, and listened to my audiobook throughout the day. That night, I was able to finish my book, and all was well.
Friday:
I then picked up Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. I was actually disappointed at first with the book. For me, I thought that the beginning was so slow and I honestly was questioning why this was so popular.
I didn’t read that much that day, and I ended up spending most of my night crocheting while watching the Wedding Year. Reading is something that I don’t want to ever force on myself, so I don’t want to ever feel as though I am forcing myself to do it.
Saturday:
Saturday was a pretty productive reading day. I ended up finishing Where the Crawdads Sing, and I am so glad that I stuck with it. From page 100 on, I wanted to know what was happening more than anything else. I felt pretty accomplished with this, and hoped to get some reading done on my next book.
Sunday:
I didn’t get much reading done again on Sunday. I did read about 40 pages of Yes No Maybe So, and loved it. However, since Sunday is my errand/laundry day, I wasn’t expecting to get a lot done.
Overall, I think that I did make some progress on my reading goals. I loved my progress and I was happy that I did get a mashed potato book read.
On April 24, 2017, I wrote a blog post called A Letter To My Future Boyfriend that I discovered a few days ago. At the time, I was single and was actually going to be meeting my current boyfriend in about a month. Funny to think about isn’t it?
After reading this, I thought about writing a letter to my current boyfriend. I don’t like to talk about my boyfriend that much on the blog, but I will give you a little story about him. I met him in June 2017 while doing an event for the company that I was working with at the time. We “talked” for three months, went on a few dates, and became “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend in October. One of the things that I will always be grateful for is that we did not rush into a relationship right away. Instead, we opted to get to know each other, which helped us develop a friendship before a relationship.
Without further a due, here is my letter to my current boyfriend. I did show this to him prior to publication, so that way there are no surprises on his end. That said, here’s a letter to my current boyfriend.
Dear Eric,
Thank you. I think that the best way to start off is to say thank you. Thank you for all of the support that you’ve given me — professionally and personally. Thank you for coming with me to pick out Lucy. Thank you for being there for me when my mother died. Thank you for carrying her casket. Thank you for showing your support whenever I am upset, and just showing up for me in general. I am going to be honest — the fact that you stayed by my side when my mother died means all of the world with you.
I can’t believe that we really have known each other for almost three years. I can honestly say that we’ve grown into stronger and better versions of ourselves. We inspire each other to grow, and at the end of the day, we continue to choose each other. When we fight and when things get hard, we still choose each other. We choose to forgive, to work through things, and we choose to love.
All of which are important things for growth.
During our relationship, we have gone through the ringer to say the least. We both suffered the loss of my mother — although in different ways. Thank you for sticking by me that day, the day of her funeral, and all of the times after that. Thank you for being the man that she would have wanted me to find. Grief is isolating, and you may not understand it or comprehend it. Yet, you still try to.
Looking back, it’s weird to think of every moment — both good and bad — that leads us to the people and the couple that we are today. And while I look back, I continue to look ahead to whatever future we may have. Hopefully, it’s full of years of more awesome memories.
Anyways, that’s pretty much it. Maybe I’ll do another one of these in three years?
Happy Wednesday, everyone (that’s what day it is right?) I can’t believe it. It’s already the end of April. We’ve been in quarantine for over a month. I don’t know about you, but I am beginning to feel depressed about being at home day in and day out, as well as lonely since I live by myself. And, that’s okay. I am allowed to feel as I need to feel.
That said, there are a lot of things that have been bringing me joy this week. This could be transferred to things that have been keeping me sane, and these are what is getting me through right now:
I’m Ready by Demi Lovato and Sam Smith:
Okay, you all know that I am a huge fan of Demi Lovato’s music. In fact, I actually saw her in concert and she was awesome. That said, anytime that she comes out with new music, I am there for that. Last week, she recently released a single with Sam Smith. And, it’s amazing. It talks about being ready and open for love. If you haven’t already, definitely listen to it.
Big Little Lies (The TV Show):
I read the book Big Little Lies three years ago, and could not put the book down. I also fell in love with the author, and since then, have read her other books. On Apple TV and with my cable company, HBO is free. So, I decided to watch the show. And, I love it. There are only 14 episodes, so I know I can get through them pretty quickly while watching the Office.
The show is about the murder of a character. At the beginning of the series, you don’t know who was murdered, so you are hooked in instantly. Throughout the episodes, you see the drama between the characters — between mothers and fathers at school. It’s intense, but once you watch the first episode, you are hooked.
What’s Next With Michelle Reed:
YouTuber Michelle Reed has a podcast. I love Michelle Reed’s videos, because she seems like someone who is authentic and has a good head on her shoulders. I have been following her tips about money, and I like that she focuses on the future, versus spending money in the now.
The podcast is new, and it talks about being in your 20s. Her first episode was a quick introduction, and in those 20 minutes of listening, I felt inspired to take on the world. It comes out on Mondays, which is perfect, because who doesn’t need inspiration and motivation on a Monday?
Sex and the City:
I was obsessed with the show Sex and the City in high school. I loved watching the show, because it’s entertaining and relatable. That said, I recently discovered that Amazon Prime had the series for free. Needless to say, I began binging the show, sometimes watching up to 6 episodes per day, and watching it before bed. For me, it’s the perfect comfort show simply because it’s one of my favorites. So, don’t mind me when I watch Mr. Big take Carrie in his arms and tell her that she’s the one (and don’t tell me you didn’t just melt when that happened).
Nine by Blink-182:
I am going to be honest here: I honestly didn’t know Blink-182 was still together. I am a fan of their older songs, such as I Miss You, First Date and What’s My Age Again? So imagine my surprise when I saw a newer Blink-182 CD in Target.
I have been listening to the album since then, and it has been on repeat. It does have the nostalgic factor of the old Blink-182, which is something that I really love.
Bernalt Blanket Yarn:
I am a huge crocheter. Lately, crocheting is pretty much becoming my therapy. I saw a blanket online made out of soft, chunky yarn and I knew instantly that I had to make something with it.
That yarn was the Bernalt Blanket Yarn in dark gray.
I started the project over a week ago, and I am almost done with it already. Normally, it takes months or even a year for me to make a blanket, so let that sink in. What I also love about the yarn is the quality. It is so soft and comfortable. I love the gray color as it matches my bedspread, but I already purchased a burgundy color to work on to use as a throw on a chair. I honestly can see myself using this yarn for so many different projects for holidays, babies and so much more. If you are new to crocheting, I highly recommend checking this yarn out too, just because it’s so quick and easy to make something that looks amazing.
Rise Podcast:
I loved Rachel Hollis’ two books, Girl Stop Apologizing and Girl, Wash Your Face. When I read those books, I was instantly inspired to grow. I have listened to a few episodes and listening to them really motivates me and puts things in perspective. It is inspiring me to show up, even when things are hard, to try to get to my goals. It inspires me to learn, set goals every morning for myself, and practice gratitude. This podcast pushes me to grow, which is something that I want to try to do more of this year.
What I love about Rachel Hollis is the way that she speaks. Her tone is fun but it’s also firm. This is precisely the kick in the butt that I need to help set more goals and actually reach them. For example, I want to work on growing my blog. How do I do that? By blogging, by taking quality pictures, connecting with other bloggers, and increasing my social media presence for my blog (by the way, follow this blog on Instagram if you haven’t already). This podcast also motivates me to get stuff done, which is something that I really need right about now.
Hoop Earrings:
From Left to Right: Top Earrings Both From Madewell, Top Left Earrings S.V. Decker XS Statement Hoop, Huggie Hoops S.V. Decker (no longer available online).
My last item on this list is hoop earrings. Ever since I was ten, I have been a huge stud person. I am not a big dangle earring girl, simply because they hurt my ears.
Recently, I began watching a lot of Youtubers display their jewelry collection, and I saw them display huggie hoop earrings. I thought those would be perfect for me, because I don’t like things that dangle.
Since then, I was introduced to a rabbit hole of hoop earrings. I started wearing extra tiny hoops from Madewell that I found online for $10 AND have sterling silver posts (I can’t wear stuff with nickel). I also found a few tiny ones from S.V. Decker (my jewelry go-to) that are light weight as well.
What I love about them is how fun that they feel. They are different than what I normally wear for earrings, and many of these earrings are classic. That said, I don’t think that I will ever be the person who wears super big earrings, but I am enjoying the tiny ones right now.
I am a huge fan of Sex and the City. This past weekend, I discovered that all six seasons are available on Prime, and I binge watched my favorites.
As I was watching this show, I couldn’t help but wonder how much of an influence the show has had on my life. I first watched the show when the episode reruns were airing on E! in 2010. I related a lot to the main protagonist, Carrie Bradshaw. We were both emotional people, and we both loved to write. Of course, Carrie was a popular writer, while I wrote a blog that I basically forced my friends to read.
Years later, Carrie has been seen as one of the worst characters in television history for her relationships, and how she was as a friend. However, I will always love her, because she is human. And, of course, I learned a lot from her. Here’s what I learned from Carrie Bradshaw:
Life is Short — buy the shoes: Carrie Bradshaw is the shoe queen without a doubt. Watching Carrie treat herself to anything reminds me that I do deserve something special every once in a while if I love the item/thing that I am envisioning. Carrie is someone who reminds us that women need to treat themselves because they are special.
. . . But Not All of the Shoes: Remember the episode where Carrie had to buy Aiden out from her apartment and she didn’t have any money? But, she bought a ton of Manolo Blahnik shoes, which in modern day retails for $995. That said, while she liked her money where she could see them — in her closet, take this into account. Emergencies happen. Life happens. It’s important to have money in your bank account. Therefore, while it’s great to treat yourself like she does every once in a while, it’s also important to have a bank account with the money you need for those things you can’t envision so you don’t have to stress out about it.
Back Up All Of Your Work: Okay, I learned this the hard way as well. But, Carrie never backed up her work onto an external hard drive, and lost everything when the computer crashed. That said, I think that in the modern area, we have the cloud which has everything available. I spend $1 a month for extra iCloud storage so that all of my memories, documents, etc. It’s worth it because if something happens to my computer, I have all of my items backed up.
Always Put Your Friends First: The three main people in Carrie’s life were Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. And they were her ride or dies. They are there for each other — from good times and in bad. What I like about their friendship is that they do anything that they can to maintain it. Many people often lose touch with their friends. Not them. They make it a point to see each other, to call, text, etc. And, that’s important. They are also there for each other when things go wrong. They come together when someone is going through a breakup, and they listen to them.
Hold Out For the One: Carrie knew that Mr. Big was the right one for her. Throughout the show, she had a hard time committing to the guy she was dating. I think that is okay. She knew not to settle and followed her heart. This is something that I think we should do when it comes to dating, because I see so many people settle in relationships that are not working for them, just because they didn’t want to be alone. I’m not saying pining for someone for several years, but I am saying that if something doesn’t feel right for you, then it’s okay to do something about it.
Don’t Uproot Everything for a Significant Other: In the series finale, Carrie uprooted her life to be with the Russian in Paris, even though we all know that Carrie was a New Yorker. When they got there, he ignored her. And, she was unhappy. My thing is this — if you need to uproot everything just to be with someone, than it may not work out. If you want to move somewhere to be with someone, make sure that before you do, you have a job, and ensure that you find ways to make friends. Otherwise, the only things that you have, well is that person. Never ends well. There were so many other things that were wrong in that relationship, but we’ll leave it at that.
I have been doing a lot of crocheting since this quarantine has started. Since March, I have completed two Nook covers, a pillow, finished a blanket, and am currently working on three blankets that are close to done.
I am still relatively new at crocheting, although it is something that comes pretty easily to me for whatever reason. I actually taught myself, with the help of a few tools that I will mention below. That said, I wanted to share some tips for those who are just starting to learn — especially since it looks like this quarantine will be going on for a while:
Use YouTube: I personally prefer using YouTube tutorials over anything. I am a very visual learner, so it helps to see someone doing it rather than follow instructions. If you are new to this, I highly recommend Googling the stitch that you are trying to learn. And, what’s great about it is that it’s completely free.
Start Flat: Many people recommend starting with a hat. I highly recommend that you don’t do that, because it took me a while to be able to crochet in the round. For a first project, create something flat — and square. This could be a bookmark, a scarf, or even a blanket. I honestly think blankets are a great first project because they are flat and they grow rather quickly.
2. Get Some Books: There are so many great beginner books out there — many of which come with free patterns as well which is super awesome. I actually purchased Learn to Crochet from Barnes and Noble, and that book has everything that you need to get started.
3. Download Apps: Many of the craft stores in my area have coupons weekly. I highly recommend anyone who is interested in crocheting to go ahead and download it. I sometimes can get 50 percent off of my entire yarn purchase.
Going off of that, make sure that you also check the clearance bin at the craft store/website. You can find some pretty cool colors for a fraction of the cost.
4. Don’t Buy on Amazon: Yarn is one of those things that you need to actually go into the store in purchase. Since the pandemic has begun, I had no choice but I really hate buying yarn online. The reason why is it never comes as you expect it to be. For example, I was looking for chunky yarn, so I ordered it based on the description. It turned out to be really thin, which did not end up working for my project.
Since the pandemic hit, I have been working with yarn that I’ve used before so that I have an idea of what I’m getting. Therefore, if you’re trying to figure out which yarn to purchase, I highly recommend using Red Heart Super Saver Yarn, because it’s very good to make anything you want from blankets to hats to scarves. What is also great about that yarn is that it’s a pretty decent quality and comes in a ton of colors.
5. Look at the Back of the Skien: Okay, so this one is a little hard to do if you’re purchasing online (another reason to avoid it if you can). But, when you buy in the store, pay attention to the lot numbers on the back of the skien that you wish to purchase. I learned this from my mom, and it basically helps ensure that all of the colors are the same shade.
Self-love is something that I think that we all need to work on. With all that’s going on, it is more important to practice self-care and self-love than ever before. That said, it’s important to practice self-love all of the time, not just during a pandemic. I hope that during this time, that we take time to work on ourselves and grow towards self acceptance.
That said, these are some ways I myself practice self-love. It is different for everyone, so I am curious to see how you show yourself some love. So, here’s some ways I practice self-love:
Make Time For Things That You Love:
I love reading. I love crafting. Whenever I do those things, I honestly feel so relaxed. I don’t get to craft as much as I used to, but whenever I do, I feel super proud of myself for making this incredible thing. The same thing goes for whenever I’m reading a good book.
For me, those are things that I enjoy and I make time to do them because they are worth it for me to do so. For others, it’s different. Some people like to draw. Others like to bake. Whatever it is, make time to do it. I personally think that it’s important for any form of self care, because it makes you happy to do these activities.
2. Take Care of Yourself:
Drink water. Workout. Do yoga. Eat veggies. It is so important to take care of your body. I workout almost everyday thanks to Lucy. It is so important to do these things for yourself, because it is a complete and total game changer.
For instance, I feel awesome about myself after I workout for many reasons, and since I work out in the morning, it sets me up for a great day. I also love working out on days that are hard for me. During the entire holiday season, I made sure that I made time to workout so I can have that good feeling. It honestly helped me get through it.
That said, I think it’s important for everyone to do a workout that is right for them. For me, I like to have a workout that is different every other day. For others, it’s yoga, or spinning or whatever. Just do something that is both healthy and makes you happy.
3. Incorporate Rose Quartz:
Rose quartz is one of my favorite gemstones for two reasons. One is because I really like the color. The other is because of the meaning. Rose quartz is the gemstone of love and healing. According to Crystal Vaults, it “speaks directly to the heart chakra,” and “carries a soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort.”
I wear rose quartz to not only for self love, but to remind myself I can take the time for healing. In addition to having rose quartz jewelry from Lucent Lemon and SV Decker, I also have a rose quartz roller that I use when I need some extra TLC — something that I highly recommend.
4. Listen To Yourself:
I think that this is the most important one. I am the type of person who tries to push whenever I am feeling tired or down to still get all of the things done. And, that’s not okay. I think that on those days when you feel sad — for me, it’s honestly because of grief — you need to acknowledge that those feelings are there and share them. Personally, I write in my journal about it and once I am done, it is so freeing.
The worst things that anyone can do is ignore those feelings, because it escalates. Don’t do that. Listen to yourself. Vent to your friends. Talk to a therapist. And, it’s okay to listen to yourself and do what’s best for you in the moment. After all, we are only human.
5. Wear Stuff That Makes You Feel Good:
This last one is probably one that applies to now. Many of us are working at home, and this changes the game. I have been living in leggings and sweatpants since this started and have enjoyed every minute of it.
That said, one thing that I found to be a game changer is wearing stuff that makes you feel good. For me, it’s leggings. But, it’s different for everyone.
I know that many of us are pretty much homebound at this point. However, when you wear stuff that makes you feel good, it helps you feel good about yourself. So if you’re able to, wear the sweatpants. Or, get dressed up. Do what’s right for you. Whatever the case may be, it’s something is meant to make you feel good.
So, how do you show yourself some love? Be sure to let me know in the comments below.
Happy Wednesday everyone! I don’t know about you all, but all of the days are honestly blending in. It looks like we’ll be in quarantine for a little while longer, which is crazy to think about.
That said, here are my social distancing favorites this week:
DoorDash: I used DoorDash last week to order Shake Shack, because I was dying for a burger, but didn’t want to drive for takeout. So, I tried using the app and was impressed. I really liked that the app kept you updated in real time where the food was. I have since used it to get a few different foods that I haven’t had since this whole thing started. If you’re starting to get bored of the same foods all of the time (especially if you’re limited in what you can cook), I highly recommend checking this app out.
Back to Me by Lindsay Lohan: I am a huge Lindsay Lohan fan. Rumors is one of my favorite songs. That said, I love her new comeback song. It’s catchy and fun, and I am here for it. This is actually her first single since Bossy, and I’m hoping this means more music for her.
The Office: Okay, so I am pretty late in this, but I am binging The Office for the first time. I am already halfway into season two and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fly by the entire series. I actually tried getting into the show when I was in college, but didn’t like it that much. However, I watched it with my boyfriend, and I thought it was funny so I decided to binge watch it. Best decision ever — especially during this quarantine.
What are your favorites this week? Let me know in the comments below.
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