Are We There Yet? Pressure and Relationships

I am 25 years old and I have been blogging about relationships for ten years. So if you do the math, I have been blogging about relationships since I was in the high school hallways. Now, many of those who were in those hallways with me are either engaged, married, or have kids. Or, some combo of the three.

For me, that is mind blowing. I don’t know why, but it’s still bizarre to me that people my age are getting married. But then again, I am in my mid-twenties.

I have begun to think about the pressure that sometimes exists about getting married. That pressure can come from anyone — from family, from friends, and of course, social media. But, what those who give us that pressure are blind to see what is right for us.

For example, I just read Mr. Maybe by Jane Green. Libby, the main character, feels pressured to get married from her mother — which ended up causing her to almost marry the wrong man. Throughout the novel, Libby often refers to her age as being a source to try to land a man.

But, when we feel that pressure, sometimes we end up making choices that are not right for us.

Now, I am turning 26 in a few months. My boyfriend is 27. We’ve been dating for almost three years. Some may say that we are on the path to getting married. Others may ask why we aren’t there yet.

The true answer?

It’s no one’s damn business.

Truthfully though, we both know that we are not ready to make that commitment. And, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. It doesn’t mean that we don’t want to now. Or even next month. It means that we are on our own path.

Which I believe is perfectly okay.

Now, there are so many aspects of how pressure can be applied in life. For instance, Sex and the City broadcasts that societal pressure of women needing to find a man. This in turn causes women to feel like rejects just because they don’t have a husband or a boyfriend.

And, these are successful woman.

At the end of the day, I have seen many girls put their relationship on a timeline — something that creates pressure. I have seen so many others put so much energy into finding a relationship — myself included — when the energy should have been centered into getting to know the person.

I believe that everyone has their own story, their own path, and their own timeline. To me, everything happens for a reason. This is why there is not a need to put any pressure on it. I know that this is a laid back approach to life, but at the end of the day, that’s all we can truly do.

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