Why We Need Boundaries

There are so many different aspects in life that you need boundaries. You need to set boundaries with yourself – when it comes to budgeting, when it comes to the food you eat, and even self-care. You also need to set boundaries with others – with how they treat you, how much you do for them, and how much you even make time for them.

So, why do we need boundaries?

I think we need boundaries just so we can do what is best for us. For example, let’s use friends as an example. At this point in my life, I’ve accumulated a lot of friends in different walks of life. After a long week at work, I often decline social events. It’s not because I don’t want to be with that group of friends or hang out. It is simply because I am setting a boundary due to the fact that I need to self-care. And, that’s okay.

While that is one example of setting boundaries, the most crucial is the internal ones. For instance, we need to set boundaries with food, because let’s just be honest we can’t eat ice cream and French fries all day. So, we need to set a boundary that you can’t have Chic-Fil-A daily. This also applies to budgeting – meaning that you need to set boundaries with yourself in what areas you’re spending your money in. These boundaries are really important, because it helps you create a healthy balance in your life, where you’re just honest with yourself.

And, I’m going to be honest here. One of the biggest areas that I continue to struggle with is setting boundaries on what I need. I’m going to be honest. It’s not easy. I am a people-pleaser and am not a huge fan of conflict, so I don’t like to say no. So, I am quick to say yes to something, even though I may ignore my needs for whatever it may be. Or, it could be something that I just genuinely do not want to do or something that I can’t afford. More times than not, it’s self-care. And, that is not okay. Therefore, it’s something that I am trying to work on.

Furthermore, another example of my need to set boundaries comes from my journey with grief. Last year, my mother passed away and I went through a series of firsts. Those firsts were super hard. That Christmas morning when I woke up realizing that Christmas was different was really hard. That said, I neglected my own grief during that time to try to make Christmas more bearable for those around me. By doing that, I often forgot that I was allowed to be sad, because my mother was gone and I will never eat one of her Christmas cookies. When I realized this, I felt less ashamed by the fact that I was sad, and more open to the pain of feeling whatever I am going to feel.

Now, how do I set that boundary? Simply by being honest with myself and others all around me. That may mean simply by saying no to a holiday dinner so I can have time to myself to journal. And, of course, by realizing that I am not being selfish by doing that.

That being said, I am learning to set the boundaries that I need to be able to live a more balanced life and the boundaries that I need to be true to my own feelings. Now, this isn’t because I don’t want to hang out with my friends or family. It is because I need to take time out for myself.

Which is perfectly okay.

So, how do I create boundaries?

Simply be honest. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with those who are in your circle. For example, if a friend asks you to hang out, but if you’re not up to it because you had a long week at work and need to self-care doing whatever it is you do, it is okay. Just tell them and be honest. It’s perfectly fine to say no.

Sometimes, people are not going to like that, and that is perfectly okay. Not everyone is going to like what you want to do or even agree with something that you need to do for yourself. And, that’s fine. Everyone has a different opinion on what’s essential to them or what they need to do to care for themselves. And, I don’t know about you, but sometimes when you share that reasoning, they contradict it or say “hey but you can’t afford to do this, but you can afford that.”

That is because that is not up to them. It is entirely up to you.

Let me conclude by saying this: boundaries are important. They are important for you to set to live a life that is right for yourself. And, just like it is important to set boundaries, I also think it’s important for others to respect them. Plain and simple.

Women Who Work: Danielle Costa, host of Back to Basic Podcast

Lately, podcasts have been my favorite thing to listen to. However, one of the hardest things for me is finding good podcasts to listen to.

Recently, my friend Danielle Costa launched her podcast, Back to Basic. Danielle and I actually worked together back when I worked at Connoisseur Media a few years ago. Her podcast launched last Wednesday, and new episodes will be going live every Wednesday (that means there’s a new episode today, folks!) Her podcast talks about pop culture and so much more. I chatted with Danielle last week about the new podcast, and what you can expect to hear from her on the new platform.

Photo Credit: Danielle Costa

So, tell me about your podcast. What topics will we expect to hear? 

Back To Basic is a podcast that blends pop culture, nostalgia with anecdotes from my life and my guests’ lives. I will be interviewing creators from all walks of life, highlighting their passions and getting “back to basic” and just having good, fun conversations with them!

Where can I listen to it? 

You can listen on my website! You can also find Back To Basic on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Google Podcast! I am hoping to keep adding to that list to make it more accessible for everyone! 


What inspired you to create a podcast? 

I had a local radio show for over a year that highlighted pop culture, events and interviews. When it got phased out due to budget cuts, I knew I wanted to continue in some way and turning it into a podcast format was the perfect solution! I also love any opportunity to be in front of a microphone and I wanted to mix that passion with others’ passions!

What inspired the title? 

The title is a play on words! We are getting “back to the basics” and just sitting down and having good conversations! I feel like sometimes we miss those simple things and I wanted to bring it back. But also, I am a little “basic” so I wanted to play on that a bit and weave in my love of pop culture, too!

In your intro of the podcast, you mention that you enjoy pumpkin spiced lattes. Now that it’s summer, what is your current coffee order? 

A French vanilla iced coffee with almond milk has been my go-to!

What sparked your passion for podcasting?

 I currently work in radio and creative marketing, so media in general is a big part of my life. I have always loved podcasts; I am a huge fan of so many and listen on-the-daily! I wanted to create my own platform and my own space to learn, grow and to highlight amazing people! 

Last but not least, what advice do you give someone who wants to start a podcast, or just make it in the media business? 

Say yes to as many opportunities as you can and learn! It may push you out of your comfort zone at times, but like most things in life that is where you grow. Lastly, you have to LOVE it because it is a hard industry, but if you have a passion for it, it’s worth it!

Be sure to follow Danielle on Instagram, as well as Back to Basic’s Instagram as well to stay up to date with the podcast. Back to Basic has a new episode every Wednesday, so be sure to check it out!

Eating My Way Around CT: 6 Places to Eat in New Haven You Have To Try

New Haven is home to so many places for excellent dining no matter what you are in the mood for. Yes, it is known for great pizza. I’m talking about Pepe’s, Sally’s, Modern, Bar, etc. But, while the pizza is good, there is so much more that New Haven has to offer. In fact, did you know that New Haven is where the hamburger was invented? So, I’ve compiled a list of places that you need to try while dining in the Elm City.

Pizza:

If you’re in New Haven, you need to get yourself a pizza pie. And, you have a lot of great options to choose from. Pepe’s, Bar, Sally’s, Modern, Da Legna, and so much more. I’m going to be honest here, I don’t have a favorite place to go to. If you can’t decide which place to go with, why don’t you rotate? If you’re in New Haven earlier in the day, I recommend going to Pepe’s or Sally’s earlier, because they tend to get crowded.

The Pantry:

This place is the place to go when you want to have lunch with your girlfriends. Or boyfriend. Or if you want to have great pancakes. In fact, they have amazing cinnamon bun pancakes. But, if you want to stick to the classics, this place has gotten you covered. They have your standard breakfast foods as well. Definitely the place to check out.

Koffee?:

I’m sorry Starbucks, but this is hands down my favorite coffee shop of all time. Let me put it to you this way – they have Nutella lattes. Prior to COVID-19, I would go there and just relax with a book in my hand and sip my coffee. The vibe was really relaxing, and it was my happy place. Since COVID, I haven’t been there, but I know I want to return soon for a treat.

Louis’ Lunch:

This is the home of the hamburger, and in fact, this place serves it on toast. So. Cool. I highly recommend checking this out.

Geronimo:

This place hands down has some of the best guac I’ve ever tasted. It also has a wide menu of delicious Mexican food, as well as drinks.

Donut Crazy:

There are so many locations across Connecticut, but if you’re looking for a good donut in the New Haven area, this is your go-to. They have coffee, breakfast foods and other treats, but hands down the best thing is their donuts. And, true to their name, their donuts are a bit crazy. They are stuffed with cookie dough, Nutella, and so much more. Definitely a cheat day must have.

91 Diner:

I have to end off with a diner. This diner is just before the North Haven town line, and one of my favorites. Come here for the classic diner staples such as breakfast, burgers, and wraps. However, their menu expands to dinners, desserts and so much more. My favorite? Definitely the chicken soluvaki.

These are just a few of the amazing places to eat in New Haven. Do you have a favorite? Let me know in the comments below and I will check it out.

What’s In My Bag: What I Bought to the Beach

Beach days are the best days, let’s be honest. I am so lucky to be living a mere half of an hour from the shore. Even though we are still social distancing, let’s be honest — a beach day is needed in the summer to recharge your batteries.

Last Friday night, I went to the beach with my friends and broke out this crochet straw purse from LC Lauren Conrad. This straw purse is perfect for summer and it’s affordable. When I first was on the hunt for these purses, they were expensive. However, I paid $20 for this, and now they are on clearance for the summer. Can’t beat that.

What I love about straw purses is that they are carefree. I don’t have to worry about sand getting into my purse, which is something that I’ve struggled with for years. And, it does hold a lot, despite it’s smaller size.

That said, here’s what I bought to the beach:

What is in your beach bag? Let me know in the comments below.

Millennial Money: Tips to Score Amazing Deals While Consignment Shopping

Recently, I’ve become obsessed with consigning. For a while, I would go to the consignment store just to sell some of my mom’s clothes that didn’t fit and were in excellent condition. Since the pandemic hit, I began to actually look through the shelves of the consignment store. And, let me tell you that you can find some amazing treasures. For instance, I was able to purchase a new Dooney and Bourke purse – with tags – for $27. The price tag said it was $200. And, that’s not the only deal that I’ve been able to find. So, here are some tips to help you find some amazing deals.

Make sure you’re buying it because you like it, not because the price is right: Have you ever found something that was a deal that was something that was too good to pass up, only to never use it. We’ve all been there. When buying consignment, really give thought to the items you are going to purchase. What are you going to use it for? What are you going to wear it with? Even though it is a good price, still buying items that you are not going to use is still a waste of money.

Know if it’s a good deal: I am a frequent luxury browser on the consignment market. For this, you gotta know your prices. For instance, if you’re looking at a mini pochette, and paying $500 for it, it is definitely not a good deal. Sure, those are really hard to get. However, I find it crazy that people upcharge it that much.

Do your research: I am familiar with how things cost because I look them up online. Therefore, if you’re on Poshmark or any other site, take a look at the brand’s website to see how much things cost on there. Sometimes, you can get things for half off. For example, I wanted a Longchamp Makeup pouch. On Nordstrom and Bloomingdales, they go for $55. I picked one up – new with tags – for $25. $30 with shipping.

Hit up your local stores: Sure, sites like Poshmark and Ebay offer great deals. But, the true hidden gems are the local ones. So, google consignment stores in your area and explore.

Go often: Try to hit up your local consignment store at least once a month. Their stock changes constantly, so while they may not have the best deals one day, the next day they may have items that you become obsessed with.

Follow them on social media: Many local shops now have Facebook or Instagram pages. And, they use that as an opportunity to share their newest and awesome finds. What’s even better is that some will let you call to reserve the items and then pick it up.

Make offers: Use apps like Poshmark to get great deals as well. I would say don’t lowball them, but definitely work with sellers to get a good deal.

Favorite items: If you like something, put a heart on it. In my experience, sellers will often create an offer with discounted shipping. Win, win.

Sell unwanted goods: Many of us have those items that we’ve never touch or only wore once and that was it. Why not bring them to the consignment store? What is good about doing this is that many consignment stores offer a discount for using that credit, so you can get items at an even better price.

Women Who Work: Erica from Happily Ever Erica

I don’t know about you, but I love Etsy. I love that you can find pretty much everything on there, including handmade unique items.

On today’s Women Who Work, I am chatting with Erica who is the owner of Happily Ever Erica. Her shop is the place to go if you need accessories (from jewelry to scrunchies to key fobs), coasters, shorts and so much more. And, the best part? Everything on her site is handmade by Erica herself. (As a side note, I am so excited to receive my scrunchie that I ordered from her a few days ago.)

So, without further a due, let’s learn more about Erica’s awesome Etsy shop!

Erica, the owner of Happily Ever Erica. Photo Credit: Erica Izzo

How long has Happily Ever Erica been open? How did it get started?

Happily Ever Erica opened in 2018. It started on Instagram and the only item for sale at the time were tiny beaded bracelets with charms!


How has your shop grown since you first started?

A couple months after opening, I officially opened my Etsy shop and added the second item to my shop which were hand-painted coasters.  I started with One Tree Hill inspired coasters (my biggest tv show obsession) and slowly added others inspired by different shows, movies, disney characters and Disney World attractions. From there I began doing custom orders such as names, initials, flowers, quotes and my newest, a wedding collection. From there, I began adding more and more items to my shop!-I always post my items on Instagram and Facebook to reach a bigger audience. I also sell to locals this way. Depending on location and my schedule I sometimes will drop off, but my house has become a popular pickup location lately.

Photo Credit: Erica Izzo


What do you sell currently?

Right now in my shop I sell scrunchies, wristlet lanyards, bracelets, coasters and my newest, up-cycled shorts and tees/crop tops! I have also been making masks over the last few months, so send me an email or message for your mask needs!


How long have you been making things?

I’ve loved arts and crafts since I was little.  When I was younger I always had lemonade stands and would sell string friendship bracelets and my lemonade stands! 


What inspires you with new items?

I like to follow trends. I always want to make items that people are into at the moment and things they will use daily!

These coasters, which can be customized, make such a great gift. Photo Credit: Erica Izzo


Do you do custom orders? If so, what is the process?

I do! I can be contacted through Etsy or any of my social media sites.  For items such as lanyards or scrunchies, it is just a matter of finding the right fabric. Lately a lot of college students have been messaging me for their schools’ colors or logos and then I search for the fabric! Anything in my shop can easily be customized! Send me all your custom ideas and we will make it happen!!


What is your favorite part about being an Etsy Seller?

Crafting and meeting new people! I am constantly working on something which keeps me busy (and keeps me inside rather than going out and spending money on more clothes and home decor that I don’t need!!) I also love meeting new people through Etsy. I have a lot of repeat customers all over the country who have become friends instead of just customers 🙂

Photo Credit: Erica Izzo


What is your next goal with the shop?

Right now I am working on some new up-cycled clothing that will be out very soon! I am also in the process of working on new coasters and bracelets! In addition to Happily Ever Erica, this week I am opening a second shop called “Erica and Erika Designs” which is a new shop with my friend! About a year ago we started painting rocks and selling them at craft fairs, which to our surprise was actually a huge hit! Our rocks can also be found in two hair salon boutiques. (Tresses and Treasures and A Dash of Color, both in North Haven, CT) We decided it’s now time to open our own shop!


Finally, what is some advice you would give someone who wants to open their own shop?  
Whether you want to do it as just a hobby or a business, go for it! For me, I thought it would just be something fun to do in my free time. but it has turned into so much more than that for me! From making time to shop and spending money on supplies, taking time each day to craft, packaging and shipping orders, it does take a lot of time, but for me it is totally worth it! 

Be sure to check Erica out on her Etsy shop, Facebook page, and Instagram!

What I Love Wednesday: July 22, 2020

Happy Wednesday everyone! It’s getting really hot in my state and it certainly feels like summer. That said, this week I have a lot of favorites to share. Some of these are birthday gifts, which I am so happy and grateful for. Anyways, stay cool and here are my favorites.

Pandora Wish Rings:

I treated myself hardcore at Pandora. I purchased the Wheat Grains Wishbone Ring in silver and the Polished Wishbone Ring in Rose Gold. Let me tell you — I am obsessed. I love stacking them together, and the two toned look. I’ve been wearing them since I purchased them, and I am so happy with them.

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Beginner Shred:

I started to do the regular shred only to stop within the first ten days. The same goes with this workout program.

After learning I gained some weight, I knew it was time. Part of the reason why I’ve been gaining weight is simply because I’m having a hard time balancing working out with working full time.

What I love about this workout is that it works and it’s 20 minutes. When I finish the video, I feel sore and amazing. Sure, it’s not easy. But, it’s not as intimidating as the regular. Therefore, I am motivated to continue working out hard and push myself to be stronger which I like.

Oh, and the results? I have lost about 2 pounds. But I’ve gained muscle strength. And, my clothes fit better as well.

Madewell Bucket Bag:

I had a Madewell gift card and I decided to purchase two purses that I had my eye on. The first is the Transport tote, which is meant to be more for when I have to carry my computer to work to transfer notes. I haven’t used that one yet, though. Furthermore, I also purchased the bucket bag for everyday use. I’ve used it for a week now and I love it. It fits all of my stuff — minus the laptop— including my Kindle Paperwhite. And it is really versatile — you can either use it crossbody or you can just it over your shoulder. Either way, it’s definitely a great investment.

Camp Rock:

I’m a Demi Lovato fan and I haven’t seen Camp Rock. Yup. This was true up until last week. Thanks to Disney Plus, I was able to watch both movies. And while I enjoyed them then, I know that I would have been obsessed with them when I was a teen. I also have been listening to the soundtrack a bit since then. (Fun fact: This is Me was one of my favorite songs back in my freshman year, so while I was watching this, I desperately wanted my iPod Nano back)

Anthropologie Initial Necklace:

Another fun purchase I bought this past was was the large Anthropologie Monogram Necklace. I am a sucker for anything with my initials on it, so this necklace was perfect for me. The gold goes with my other pieces and it’s so fun. I have been wanting this version of this for a while and am so glad that I purchased this to add to my initial collection.

Listening to Podcasts:

I’ve been off my podcast game as of late. Lately I have been getting into them again more and more and it feels amazing. My current favorites are Gals on the Go and What’s Next With Michelle Reed. I am looking for more so if you have any podcast recommendations, please let me know in the comments below.

Starbucks Refreshers:

Finally, as I said earlier, it’s been really hot outside. To help quench my thirst, I’ve been treating myself to some Strawberry Lemonade Refreshers. And, let me tell you, they are so refreshing. I have been getting them everyday this week and these have become my go-to.

Reading Rush TBR

Today kicks off of the first day of the Reading Rush Readathon, hosted by Raeleen and booktuber Ariel Bissett. The Reading Rush Readathon goes from today, July 20, 2020 to July 26, 2020. In this time, there is seven different prompts that you can choose from to read. Of course, you can just read whatever, but I thought it would be fun to try to get as many as humanly possible accomplished.


That said, I have chosen six books to read. One of them is a graphic novel. I hope to get through at least two of them, plus the graphic novel, but we shall see. That being said, here is my TBR for the Reading Rush Readathon: 

Read a book with a cover that matches the colour of your birth stone.

For this, I picked the Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan. I picked this book, because I have heard great things about it, but I never had an excuse to read it. I decided that since I didn’t have any unread books that fit this bill, that maybe this would be a good book to read.  


Read a book that starts with the word “the.”

I have a few that fit this bill, but for this, I am going to choose The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, because that has been on my TBR for a while.

Read a book that inspired a movie you’ve already seen. 

For this, I am choosing Before by Anna Todd. I saw After last year, and obsessively read the series shortly after – no pun intended. Before is told through Harden’s point of view. Since I’ve read these books before and loved them, I know that this is a book that I can fly through pretty quickly.


Read the first book you touch. 

This is a weird prompt. For this I took out the two book club books I had and closed my eyes to point out which one to choose. So, I choose The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett for this one.


Read a book completely outside of your house.

Ahh the joys of a graphic novel. I am going with the Great Gatsby graphic novel edition, because I can read this outside during my lunch break and read it in one sitting. And, if I don’t finish The Nightingale, this could apply to the second prompt as well. 

Read a book in a genre that you’ve always wanted to read more of. 

I have been wanting to read more historical fiction, and one of the top ones is the Nightingale. 


Read a book that takes place on a different continent than where you live. 

For this, I am picking up I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella, since her books take place in the United Kingdom, and this is the last book of hers that I haven’t read. This has actually been on my TBR since I bought it in an airport in San Diego, and so I really want to get to this book as well. 

That concludes my TBR for this readathon. Are you participating in the Reading Rush? If so, please comment what you’re aspiring to read in the comments below. 

What I Love Wednesday: July 15, 2020

Happy hump day everyone! Enter in another What I Love Wednesday. This week has a lot of new ones, ranging from music to purses to of course SV Decker jewelry. So, without further a due, here is what I am loving this week!

Madewell Elsewhere Tie Tote Bag:

I have been obsessed with Madewell’s clothing, jewelry and purses as of late. What I like about the brand is that they are true to the made and they are Madewell.

Now I’ve been using this purse for over a week for work straight and I love it. I have a lot of designer purses and this one just seems to work. It fits everything that I need for work, from my water bottle to my lunch. I can even fit a book as well. Furthermore, I also like that you can tell that the purse is a quality bag, and it’s very substantial. I have it in both black and brown, but honestly the brown has been my go-to.

JoJo’s Good to Know Acoustic Album:

JoJo released the acoustic version of Good to Know, and let me tell you — it is gorgeous. In these stripped down songs, her vocals really shine and it gives the songs a completely different— and beautiful — vibe. I highly recommend checking it out if you haven’t already.

SV Decker Decorative Layering Chain:

Okay so you all know my jewelry as of late has been coming from SV Decker. She recently got this layering chain in stock and I am obsessed. It is perfect pairing with longer necklaces for a layering look. And, it’s comfortable! I have paired it with a few of my gold necklaces and I am in love. Furthermore, it also looks good on its own as well, which makes this even more versatile.

Recent Reads:

I have been reading a lot of great books this week. I finished Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevado over the weekend for my book club book and it was amazing. It was the first book by the author that I read and I loved it. Told entirely in verse, the book is about two girls who lost their father in a plane crash. Little did they know that he was living a double life. This book was really impactful and I highly recommend it.

I am currently reading What You Wish For by Katherine Center and I am loving it. I am a huge fan of hers, and needless to say, I am loving this read as well.

What are you loving this week? Let me know in the comments below.

14 Birthday Freebies/Discounts You Can’t Resist

I don’t know about you all, but I love a good deal. In honor of my 26th birthday on Sunday, here are some great birthday coupons that you can use to treat yourself with. Trust me, it is worth it. All you have to do is sign up for their email promotion list.

  1. Kendra Scott: 50 percent off of any jewelry piece and 25 percent off of any fine jewelry piece. 

2. Urban Outfitters: 20 percent off of any purchase of $50 or more (aka the perfect place to spend any birthday cash)

3. Anthropologie: 20 percent off of your purchase

4. Tory Burch: $50 off of any item

5. Starbucks: Free drink on your birthday

6. Madewell: $25 off of your purchase. 

7. Brugger’s Bagels: Free bagel with cream cheese

8. Book of the Month: Members can get a free add-on with their birthday month box

9. Dunkin’: If you sign up for the Dunkin’ Rewards, you can get a free medium drink on your birthday. That said, I would try the Strawberry Dragonfruit Refresher, because it is amazing. 

10. IHOP:A free stack of pancakes. Talk about a delicious birthday breakfast. 

11. Best Buy: 20 percent off of your purchase. 

12. Panera: Free birthday treat.

13. Kohl’s: Rewards members can get $10 coupons.  

14. Target: Target Circle members get 5 percent off of their total in-store or online purchase.