Ingredients for Happiness?

It seems like everyone out there has a recipe for how to  achieve happiness. In fact, there’s literally an entire wing of the bookstore that is devoted entirely on how to make yourself happy, on how to get from blah to wow. However, who has the magic word to get there?

The answer? You.

The truth is that you can read all of the self help books in the world, and you can still not achieve that perfect level of happiness. Happiness, at least I think, is different for each and every person out there. For example, what makes me happy isn’t necessarily what will make my friend happy, or my mom happy. Just like we are all different in personality and in temperament, we are all different in  what exactly makes us happy.

With that being said, I still think that each and every one of us out there closer to happiness is spending some time to figure out the puzzle.

That means taking the time to read the books and try out their suggestions. That means going to a therapist and learning about yourself. That means taking long walks, eating lots of good food, and writing in journals, if that works for you.

It means finding yourself.

At the end of the day, happiness is something that is achieved, just like a college degree or something else. It’s a journey, one that we must embark on our own, however, once you get there you will feel on top of the world.

So, to whoever is reading this, how do you strive to achieve happiness? Let me know in the comments below.

 

Blog Goals

Now seems like a good time to discuss my goals for this blog. It’s been a while since I’ve kept a blog, so I wanted to take the time to discuss my blogging goals.

For about a year now, I’ve dealt with the symptoms of anxiety, as well as experienced numerous panic attacks (I’ll share my story in a later post this week). The cause, as it looks to be, was a result of working three jobs while being a full-time student. Needless to say, it was easy to fall down the rabbit hole of endless tears, feeling stressed and other emotions associated with anxiety. I felt like I lost control, of myself, of what I was feeling and of my life.

It was an awful feeling. However, now I am so happy to say that I’m doing a thousand times better thanks to the support of friends and family, as well as going to a therapist on a pretty much regular basis.

With that being said, one of the reasons why I wanted to start this blog was not only to share my story, but to also talk about issues related to mental health. My goal is to make my readers much more aware of anxiety, as well as its’ effects, as I know several people including myself who experience its’ symptoms. I want to also inspire others who may be feeling the same things I have/do, and let them know that in the end, it will be okay.

Besides being a journalist, one of my main goals in life is to be a role model. This I believe is one way I can do this, and spread not only awareness to those who may not have that much information, but also promote positive thinking.

So, stay tuned folks!

 

Emotional Relapses?

With any kind of physical ailment, you’re told to basically “take it easy,” by basically resting and limiting your physical abilities until you’re healed. And if you don’t do that, you basically make that wound or injury ten times worse than it was originally.

When it comes to an emotional wound, however, things are slightly different. You’re expected to “bounce back” from whatever happened to you almost immediately or soon after. And, sometimes that expectation can lead us down a dangerous path, a path I would like to call “emotional relapse.”

This happened to me recently.

As mentioned in my last entry, I’m going through a breakup. One of the only ways that one is able to move past it is to truly be patient with yourself and allow you to feel the emotions that you need to feel. When going through something that is as challenging as a break up, it’s important to move slowly and be careful with yourself. Otherwise, you can easily relapse, and the result can be awful.

This means taking a break to make yourself stronger. In my case, that means taking a break from the dating world. However, the question still remains on when is the right time to get back into the game.

And that’s a tricky question.

And the answer? Well, it’s really when you feel emotionless towards the event/person/whatever. It’s when you’re done eating your cartons of Ben and Jerry’s, and you’ve cried your last tear. It’s when you have forgiven that person for all that they have done for you. And, most importantly, it’s when you’ve properly healed.

This doesn’t happen overnight, folks.

On Sunday, I thought I was ready to dive back into the Tinderworld, so I booted up my profile and began to swipe “right” and “left” for guys. It was all going well-until, I saw a familiar face-my ex. This was six days after breaking up.

Needless to say, the feelings that I thought I was done with slowly crept back and I felt a knot in my throat, signaling the tears that would soon come.

I called my best friend, who reminded me this: taking a break after a breakup needs to be something that lasts longer than a week. And, when you do decide to go back in the game, it’s when you know you feel ready. However, it’s going to take time to get to that initial point, so it’s important to give yourself as much time that you need.

Otherwise, then you’ll relapse and those same feelings came to haunt me.

So, I deleted the app, and began to focus on all of the emotions that I was feeling, allowing myself to feel them instead of repressing them. One day, I’ll be able to take on the world of Tinder, but for now, it’s just too big of a step.

When going through things, whether it’s grieving the death of a person or a relationship, it’s important to not jump back into the way of life beforehand. For relationships, it means taking a few weeks off from the dating world before going into the treacherous seas of Tinder. For grieving a death, it means allowing yourself time to really come to terms with the loss, without the people telling you what you need to feel. At the end of the day, it will be the only things that can truly prevent an emotional relapse such as the one that I experienced.

In The End, It’s a Beginning?

This past week, I’ve experienced numerous endings, as both my relationship and a one of my jobs had ended. Actually, past week is an understatement, as both endings have occurred in the span of an hour.

Yeah, you can say that it was an interesting week.

In the past, having that all happened to me at once would have signaled the symptoms of a panic attack and anxiety. However, I remained pretty calm, and in control. (Well, I started to cry, but that’s pretty normal for a breakup) Then, I put in a phone call to my therapist, asking her to move my appointment to the next day.

In her office, I replayed the events that happened over the past 24 hours. I told her that I was allowing myself to grieve, so I can feel the emotions that I needed to before I decided to move on from my relationship. I told her that I knew that I knew that the overwhelming sadness  I was feeling (and currently feeling) will eventually go away, and I will never say that my now ex-boyfriend is a terrible person, despite how hurt I felt at the time.

From that, we transitioned to discussing how I transformed from my first intake session to the person sitting in her chair today. That person, she said wouldn’t have looked at things in the same healthy manner that she did. That person would have given up, and have fallen apart.

I am proud to say that I am not that person. I am proud to say that I’ve grown, learned to take care of myself, learned to stand my ground, and learned to love myself. I’ve surrounded myself with friends that not only cheer me on, but (especially in the last five days), have become people who I know can lean on.

And that’s pretty freaking great.

And that’s why this ending is just a beginning. Right now, I’m healing. I have good days, and some bad ones too. That is to be expected. However, now there are so many opportunities headed my way and I couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve accepted a new position at a new newspaper. As for the boyfriend thing, I’ve decided to take some time and really work towards living a life that makes me happy. This means surrounding myself with people, exercising the ever-so important self care practices and really getting to know myself. I’m taking the time to heal from the wounds from my previous relationship, and realizing that not all guys out there are bad (even my ex, who isn’t really a bad person). With that, I’m going to grow into a stronger individual.

I’m going to close this entry with some lyrics from a Kelly Clarkson song that I’ve really enjoyed listening to these past few days, and hope that readers find some sort of inspiration from it as well: “you know in the end, the day you left was just a mild beginning.”

Here’s to mild beginnings and the start of new blogs.

How Do You Adult?

When I thought of myself at this age, I thought of myself as having it all together. I would be polished and refined, and have all of my ducks lined up in a row.

Now that I am this age, I can safely say that I’m not.

Being an adult means that you have to balance and often do the more responsible thing in life. This means making sure your bills are paid, ensuring that you work enough to support yourself, and making sure that you are responsible all of the time. Adults often have to budget, make sure that they have enough in the bank in case of a rainy day, because it’s up to them to be responsible for themselves. And not ask for anything from your parents.

I’m still trying to get this adult thing down. I’m trying to juggle school, multiple jobs and trying to not stay sane. However, I believe that I’m doing a great job. And, like all things, it’s a learning process. With that being said, I’m still learning. I think as long as I’m willing to learn, it will be okay. I’ll get it down eventually.

So, how do you adult? I’m still getting that part down, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t be trying to.