Whose Right and Whose Wrong?

Have you ever heard someone said that in a relationship, the woman always wins because she is always right — no matter what? I’ve been hearing that an awful lot lately, and to be honest, I don’t agree with that.

Why?

Because I’m a woman. And, I’ve been wrong on more than one occasion. And, to have a relationship where a partner feels like they have to give into their partner because they should be right isn’t the way a relationship should be. There are going to be instances where both parties are going to be wrong. That is perfectly okay.

Back in high school, I had this friend whose boyfriend was whipped — for lack of better word. He constantly had to agree with her, or else she would get mad. And, he had to check in with her whenever he wanted to do something.

Can I be honest? That’s not a healthy relationship if you have to submit to your girlfriend. Just saying. Your boyfriend is not a dog. He shouldn’t have to obey your every command. 

Going off of that, in relationships it’s really not about who is right or who is wrong — for me, anyways. It’s not about winning an argument. Instead, I think it’s about trying to understand the other person, and getting a better grasp on how to understand them.

You know that couple I mentioned earlier? Well, they would argue until the guy would give up and say you’re right honey. Then it would be all good with them.

Let’s face it — there is no such thing as a perfect relationship without argument. Every healthy relationship has them. But, the thing is, you’ve got to know how to argue productively.

But, wait. How do you argue productively?

Arguing productively means that instead of trying to be the person that is right, learning to understand your partner a little better. That means listening to them, and how they are feeling. That means using statements that begin with ‘I feel’ rather than accusatory ones. And, instead of it being a competition, the goal should be to come out of the argument a stronger couple.

Personally, that goal is a whole lot healthier than constantly having to say you’re right, honey all of the time. But, that’s just my opinion.

Can we just aspire to have healthy relationships and be merry?