Fashion Friday: Outlets 101

Like a lot of people, I like name brands. The main reason is because I love the quality of the items, and how they can last for several years to come. One thing that I don’t love about designer brands? The price tag.

Enter in my love for the outlets. I am fortunate enough to live near not one but three outlet malls. Well, they are about a 30 minute drive away from me, but it’s worth the extra trip.

Many people often diss the outlets, because they have last season’s style or maybe be not what the original stores have. I think that may have been true in the past, but nowadays, I think they have evolved to being just as comparable as the same items as you see in Macy’s. The only difference is that they are cheaper. At least, that’s the only difference that I could find.

And, the savings is substantial. I often find Micheal Kors purses, normally prices at $398 for as little as $80. Furthermore, I also have found Coach Wallets, normally priced at $275, for $60. The same with clothes. I go to the Banana Republic outlet, and often walk out with shirts that are about ten dollars.

Now, with that being said, it can be easy to go crazy with your wallet with all of these good deals. Therefore, here are some of my secrets on ensuring that you get the best deals.

  1. Check out the clearance bins: One of the best things about the outlets? The clearance rack. Many of the ones that I go to often have save an extra 50 percent off in addition to the already reduced price. For example, last weekend I went to the Banana Republic outlet. I found a sweater that was marked to $50, something that I need because I lost a few pounds since my mom died, and none of my clothes are fitting properly. Clearance that day was marked to an additional 50 percent off. So, I paid $24 for a heavy sweater that actually fit.
  2. Log into your phone: One of the cool things about the outlet malls is that many of them are online now. And, if you create an account — which is free, you can access many of them have save an extra ten percent if you spend this. So, if you’re already buying that amount anyways, why not pile a few of the extra savings?
  3. Bring cash: This is what I do to stick to my budget. I get cash, and leave my debit cad at home. Once I’m out of cash, I’m done for the day. This way, I can make sure that I am staying within my means without going overboard.
  4. Do your research: I try to go once every few months, but I try to have a game plan of places that I want to go. If I know I want jeans, I go to the Gap outlet, since they have them for twenty dollars. If I know I want sweaters or dresses, I go to Banana Republic, because the clearance rack is the best place to score them. If I want a new crossbody, I go to Micheal Kors, since I love theirs. I also try to look up those items online so that way I know if I am getting a good deal or not.
  5. Shop around before buying: I often make a few rounds around before actually purchasing something. That way, I know what I want after I see everything and can make purchases I truly love. Last year, I went to the outlets the day after my birthday, and I wanted to treat myself to a purse. I found I liked, left and walked around for a bit. Once I realized that was the one I wanted, I went back and got it. I often find that if you need to think about it, you probably don’t want it. But, if you fall in love with it the second that you lay eyes on, it probably is something you’d be disappointed if you walked away from.
  6. Only shop outlets: Almost all of the items I purchase are from the outlet because I like to save. Therefore, I only shop there. This is already a great way to save, because chances are, you’re not paying regular price for any of it? See, already smart shopping.

Hopefully these tips can help you score some major deals the next time you head to the outlets!

What I’m Loving Wednesday: October 16, 2019

Hey there readers! I wanted to create a fun new feature called What I Love Wednesday, where I feature five things that I am loving right now. I got this idea from an old blogger friend, and I thought that it might be a good idea to do on here. So, here goes nothing:

1. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel:

I’m only about halfway through season one, but I am loving this show. I love how Midge is constantly overcoming boundaries and is a strong female character. I love how Amy Sherman-Palladino wrote the show. You know, the one that wrote Gilmore Girls. Maybe that’s why I love that? Anyways, my goal for myself is to finish the series before season three comes out later this year.

2. Pumpkin Spice Lattes:

Call me basic. But, I love fall partially because I love the taste of pumpkin — especially pumpkin spice lattes. So, when fall rolls around, I go all out. I can’t resist. With that being said, you’ll catch me at Starbucks almost daily getting my soy pumpkin spice latte.

3. Audiobooks:

I will admit that my stepmother got me into these. I like them for two reasons. The first is because I like to listen to them while I am doing tasks as background noise. Secondly, I love the fact that I can read books even in the smallest of moments. It helps me burn through my to-read pile so much quicker!

4. Sweaters

Now that fall is officially here, I’ve been indulging myself with all of the cozy sweaters. My favorite is an oversized sweater with leggings. Fall is definitely the coziest time of year.

5. Crocheting

I learned how to crochet in March, but recently, I’ve been carving out so much time to crochet at night. Partially because my project that I am working on is for a baby that was born for a few weeks ago, and partially because I have so many projects that I want to make.

So, those are five things that I am loving this week. What are you loving today?

13 Thrillers Worth Reading Those Spooky Season

Spooky season is in full swing, so you know what that means: an appetite for thriller movies. For me, this means spending the month reading thriller novels. So, if you’re like me, here are some of my favorites:

  1. The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine
  2. Ghosted by Rosie Walsh
  3. The Last Time I Saw You by Liv Constantine
  4. The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks
  5. The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides
  6. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
  7. Into the Water by Paula Hawkins
  8. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell
  9. Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough
  10. All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda
  11. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
  12. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
  13. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

What are some of your favorite thrillers?

 

Things To Remember on World Mental Health Day

I found out that today is World Mental Health Day. Hopefully, today we take the time to be more aware of all of the mental illnesses that are out there – from anxiety to depression to eating disorders to bipolar disorder. And, there’s so many more out there that – some that many of us don’t even know unless we have a DSM on hand.

I hope today everyone reading this lets go of judging someone based on behavior and focus more on being more understanding on what they are going through. There are so many of us that judge what’s on the surface, and often, this creates a world of hate versus love.

Additionally, I hope today serves is to help those realize that making mental health a priority is just as important as making the physical one a priority. How many of us tried to practice self-care, or tried to take a moment, only to be told that you don’t need those five minutes to recharge? How many of us talk negatively to ourselves? Or, how many of us have had others take over and tell us that by taking those few minutes for ourselves that we are lazy and being selfish?

I’ve had that happen. And, it sucks.

Everyone is going through something – a divorce, a death or a disorder. Many of us often are stressed by the balance of daily life. And, we decided to put our mental health last. Which kind of sucks if you ask me.

Additionally, it’s important to remember one other thing: there’s nothing wrong or shameful with dealing with a disorder or using medication for a boost in balance. Why are we ashamed about it in the first place? Honestly, I have no idea. Let’s remove the stigmas that we have for those who are suffering, and focus on giving them love and support.

We all can do that, right?

So, with that being said, let’s try to focus on ourselves and our mental health. World Mental Health Day for me means that putting your mental health first no matter what anyone tells you. It means focusing on taking a moment to do yoga, or to sleep in on Saturdays instead of rising up early to get everything crossed off of the to-do list. It means talking to yourself positively, instead of negatively. After all, how many of us take the time to rest when having a cold? Many, right? Now, if we’re having a rough day, let’s take a moment to recharge. It’s not easy, this I know. But, I know we can get there.

With that being said, here is something that everyone needs to hear today, and remind themselves all of the time:

  • You are worth it.
  • It’s okay to take time out for you.
  • Self care is not selfish.
  • It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling.
  • It’s okay to have feelings, and to cry.
  • You are worth wonderful things.
  • Although everything may not seem it, tomorrow will be better.
  • You are beautiful just the way you are.
  • You are loved.
  • You are strong.

For me, putting my mental health first is crucial. Dealing with grief is isolating and confusing, and I know deep down that it is perfectly okay to take moments for myself to mourn, and to show emotion. It’s healthy. And, as long as I do my best, it’s more important than beating myself up for what I didn’t do. In honor of World Mental Health Day, I vow to put my mental health first to create a healthier life. I hope that you all do the same.

 

Grief and Relationships

Tomorrow is my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend. By far, this is the longest relationship that I’ve ever been in, which is not really a cause for a celebration. The honeymoon phase is long-gone, and my boyfriend and I have settled in a pattern that is comfortable and never boring.

However, since my mom died, my relationship changed. This is probably natural, as I have changed too. Grief is something that consumes me – not enough to prohibit me from still carrying on my daily responsibilities, but enough to handicap me in daily life. I’ve began to pull away from my relationship a bit – something of which I should have expected.

After a while, I began to notice something else. I would scroll on my social media feeds and see people in relationships – people my age – practically writing novels on how much their significant other means to them. Meanwhile, I would be scrolling on Instagram with writer’s block on my feelings. Was there something wrong with me? Did this mean that I didn’t love my boyfriend?

What I didn’t realize was the difference between them and myself. Those friends didn’t lose a parent less than a year ago. I did. I was dealing with grief and trying to create a new normal. That feeling is so overwhelming that sometimes you just want to crawl into a corner and sit in silence with the TV remote.

I bought up these feelings with my therapist yesterday. I confessed that I thought this meant that I didn’t love my boyfriend. Her response? That is was normal, as you try to create the “new normal.” The brain is more focused on trying to rebuild a stable normal that you pull away.

Completely normal.

She also assured me one other thing – the thing that no one sees when you’re scrolling on social media. The arguments, the misunderstandings, and the issues. She said that no one sees that. Furthermore, there is something that is I have never posted – the fact that my world turned upside down, and my partner chose to stand by me. What you don’t see on my social media is how many Starbucks drinks that I’ve ordered from my phone that he picks up for me. Or, the fact that he listens to me, even if I complain about the same thing over and over again.

What you don’t see is that he is there for me. And, I am pretty lucky that he is there for me as I progress through this journey.

Now, grief is something that will change the relationship – as it changes the person who the grief is affecting. I believe that it’s something that will make or break the relationship Going through the motions of grief is isolating. Some people chose to walk away from the person, as their grief is too overwhelming for them. Others choose to stay – those are the ones that grow stronger.

I guess you can say that I am the latter.

When you’re in a relationship, you often feel that you are not alone, or you’re scared to mention it to your partner. Opening up is difficult for me, as I fear that he would think that I’m complaining or not understanding what I’m feeling. However, when you’re in a relationship, you should probably share the feelings that are bottled up inside you. And, I often wonder how could he understand what I am going through? He’s never lost a parent.

The thing that I am constantly wrong about is that he’s understanding even though he doesn’t understand what I am going through.

And, that’s all that truly matters.

So, here’s what I think about grief and relationships. Of course, the partner may never understand what you are going through. But, it’s the little things that they do to get you through and to make daily life easier. It’s the listening to you vent. It’s the asking what can I do to help? It’s about the little things such as making you dinner, or buying you flowers on a bad day. Of course, you can say that about all relationships, but it applies even more during the journey of grief.

Furthermore, it’s the fact that they want to support you, that truly matters the most.

And, you can’t see all that behind a cute caption and a selfie.

But, honestly, I would take these real moments that I don’t capture any day over the ones that I do.

Five Spooky Reads I Hope To Read This October

When October rolls around, I start getting in a spooky mood. I’m talking about Halloween themed movies, pumpkin flavored everything, and apple cider. And of course, my kryptonite, Apple Cider Donuts.

One of the ways that I do this is through reading a ton of spooky reads. Halloween is fast approaching, and one of the ways I do so is read downright creepy books. This year is no exception. So, to celebrate Halloween, I’ve come up with a list of spooky reads I want to read this October.

  1. Carrie by Stephen King
  2. Hocus Pocus and the All New Sequel by A.W. Jantha
  3. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
  4. The Perfect Stranger by Meghan Miranda
  5. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Hopefully, I’ll be able to get through most of these. But, we’ll see. What is your favorite spooky read?

 

Book of the Month YA: Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi

In addition to getting a Book of the Month subscription, I also get a YA Book of the Month. Now, this month, I had a hard time picking out which book to get. It was a cross between Frankly In Love by David Yoon and Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi. The reason why I chose this novel was because I read Choi’s other novel, Emergency Contact, and wanted to check out her latest read. (And, side note: I have Frankly In Love on my Kindle to read next).

Summary:

Dating a pop star is every man’s dream. That dream becomes reality for Pablo Rind. When he runs into pop star Leanna Smart, he falls madly in love with her. And, the love becomes mutual.

However, Pablo isn’t exactly the greatest on paper. He is a college dropout and faces thousands and thousands of dollars of credit card debt. At the start of the novel, he is behind on rent and works nights at a deli.

Over the course of the novel, he of course falls madly in love with Leanna – to the point where he neglects all other responsibilities. Of course, that’s the stereotypical love story, isn’t it? Soon, Pablo begins to ignite change.

Review:

I loved this book, and almost cried at the end of it. No, I’m not going to give the ending away. But, I will give you one little hint – the novel doesn’t have the standard Hallmark ending. Which is something that I liked about it.

Social media is a huge part of this book. Pablo constantly posts photos of foods on his Instagram. Many of the characters often discuss it. And, it’s a priority to check it constantly. This shows how Instagram has become a huge priority of millennial culture. Which is true. How many of us – myself included – are checking Instagram throughout the day? How many of us constantly post photos on our stories and on our pages? I mean, I’m guilty of it too. Social media has changed us – our relationships, and how we communicate. It also is a huge time suck. This novel also demonstrates it. And, furthermore, it also shows how one can make a living just by posting.

Now, let’s talk about Pablo. I thought he was kind of an awful character. He was pretty lost at the beginning of the novel. That happens. However, it frustrated me that he didn’t want to do anything about it. It also bothered me how self-centered he was, especially while dating Leanna Smart. His brother was having crisis after crisis and really needed support. Instead of being there for him, Pablo took off to be with Leanna. He also neglected important meetings, and even his job. I almost wanted to jump into the novel and say “get your life together, for heaven’s sake!”

Furthermore, you also get an inside of fame, which isn’t surprising since Leanna was a celebrity. I liked her methodology of dodging paparazzi and the real moments she shared with her grandmother. She also craved privacy in her relationship with Pablo.

This leads me into my next point. I think that Choi did an outstanding job demonstrating the relationship between the two. Leanna often ditched Pablo because of work and left him hanging out in a hotel room. She couldn’t even follow him on Instagram without eyebrows being raised. She did what she could to hide Pablo. However, she treated him to expensive things that he couldn’t afford. All of these things are hallmarks of the celebrity relationship.

With that being said, I did enjoy the novel. What I like about Choi’s writing is that it’s real. It’s about real relationships, and the characters feel real. I mean, many millennials are having to face the issues that Pablo is facing – crippling debt, trying to figure out what to do with the future, etc. This novel feels relatable, which is something that I liked most about it.

Overall, if you see this novel lingering in your local bookstore and you love YA, be sure to pick it up. Trust me, you will love it.

Is Crying a Sign of Weakness?

I got some pretty upsetting news one night this week. As a result, I began to cry. It just happened. It felt natural to cry in that moment. However, during that time I was crying, I was told to stop because it was a sign of weakness.

How can something that feels so natural in the moment be considered to be something that is so criminal?

According to an article on Enlightened Solutions entitled Crying is a Sign Of Strength, Not Weakness, the usual reaction one someone is crying is “ssssh don’t cry.” The article says that what they are actually saying is “stop expressing your emotion through crying, it’s making me uncomfortable,” translating into “your emotions make people uncomfortable.” This is eventually turned into the root of it all, which is “feelings are bad.”

Well, if they are bad, then why do I have them?

How many of us burst into tears after a death, a bad day at work or learning that you didn’t get the job that you were 100 percent certain that you were getting? How many of us apologize after bursting into tears to those around us. My question is, why are they doing it?

In case you didn’t know, we are humans with emotions and the need to express them. Crying is one of the healthy ways to express the emotions, as well as a way to begin the healing process. And, the article says that “high percentages of people feel a relief after crying.”

So, why is it so bad to cry?

Personally, I am always unsure what to do when someone is bursting out in tears in front of me. However, that awkwardness doesn’t mean that I am going to turn around to tell them not to.

Honestly, crying is healthy. It’s saying that I am sad because my boyfriend broke up with me.” It’s saying that I am sad and I am dealing with it. And, that’s okay. Sure, crying make not be the ultimate solution for your problems. It’s not going to make that boy take you back. However, it’s saying I have emotions and I am dealing with them.

So, why are we not celebrating one’s ability to do so?

Maybe it’s because emotions are kind of like periods. Everyone has them, but no one wants to talk about the matter.

Which sucks when you have a lot of emotions that you’re trying to bottle them in.

So, let’s try to develop a healthy relationship with crying. Let’s cry when we feel sad, because that’s okay. And, if someone tells you to stop, instead of bottling it in, go somewhere where you can cry alone without judgement.

Because you are strong for crying. Not weak.

https://www.enlightenedsolutions.com/crying-is-a-sign-of-strength-not-weakness/

Book of the Month: Bringing Down the Duke

I’m not going to lie to you all – I’m not always the biggest fan of historical fiction. Every now and then, I will dabble into it. This month’s Book of the Month pick was one of the first historical fiction novels I read in a while. That novel is Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore, which is the first novel in the League of Extraordinary Women Series. It is Dunmore’s first novel.

img_3030

Summary:

It is England 1879, and Oxford is at least allowing women to attend classes. Annabelle Archer leaves her cousin’s responsibilities behind to become a student and a suffragist. During one of her outings in the attempts of recruiting men to her side, she finds herself face to face with the Duke of Montgomery. However, the meeting doesn’t go well.

Annabelle falls ill, and is forced to spend her holidays at Sebastian’s castle. The two begin to develop a Mr. Darcy/Elizabeth Bennett style relationship, and soon fall in love. They soon face a predicament that is greater than creating a law – which may change their course forever.

Review:

I loved this book. As I mentioned earlier, the relationship between Annabelle and Sebastian reminded me so much like the relationship between Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. This novel has quite a bit of similarities to that classic. For instance, there are themes of class — and different classes.

However, there is an additional theme of feminism in this book. I mean, the reason why Annabelle met the Duke in the first place was because she was getting support in the attempts to abolish the English Marriage Law of 1870, which was basically a woman losing all of her assets when she got married to her husband. The concept? What’s the husband’s is the wife’s.

It’s kind of crazy to see how things were for women back then and how little rights that they had. I mean, when the novel began, Annabelle was going to Oxford, and was one of the first women to be allowed to attend. To me, that’s crazy. But, the reality is sadly that’s how it was.

With that being said, I want to move on to discuss the relationship between the Duke and Annabelle. In the late 1800s, I get it. It is a completely different time from the way relationships are today. Back then, you have things such as social class and standards thrown in. For instance, if you’re not pure or from a certain social class, you’re deemed as damaged goods. And, if you’re over 20 and divorced, you might as well forget it.

Reading this made me frustrated, but then again, that’s how it was.

You see that a lot in the relationship between Annabelle and the Duke. For a good chunk of the book, the Duke said that he’s unable to be with Annabelle because of who he is expected to marry as a Duke. Which is completely awful, but that’s a sign of the times. He wanted to draw a relationship contract with her, which Annabelle declined (good for you Annabelle).

However, I can’t help but notice that the two have a relationship that mirrors Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. At the beginning, the two can’t stand each other. Of course, that changes throughout the book. But, seeing that displayed made this book a romance that I could not put down.

Overall, while I am not a huge fan of historical fiction, this novel served up a delicious romance that makes me excited for the sequel.

 

Books on My To-Read List I Need to Read

My to be read (TBR) pile is insane nowadays. Therefore, as a way to get through them, I am instilling a book buying ban until Black Friday. Here are some books that I hope to get to during that ban.

  • The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
  • The Wedding Date series by Jasmine Guillory
  • Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane
  • Circe by Madeline Miller
  • American Royals by Katharine McGee
  • Frankly in Love by David Yoon
  • Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds
  • The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman
  • The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai
  • Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
  • Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner
  • Field Notes on Love by Jennifer E. Smith

What is on your reading list?