One thing that continually bothers me is seeing a girl essentially lower herself for a guy who essentially does not care about her, or does not put in the same amount of effort that she does.
I get it. It’s not 1950 anymore. Women are more and more taking the reign of the relationship, whether it may be making the first move or splitting the bills for dates Personally, I think that is great, since relationships should be a two way street versus putting a heavy amount of pressure onto the guy to do all of the work or shell out the cash.
But, at the same time, I’ve noticed a shift in the other direction — a shift where it suddenly becomes weighted on the woman to do everything — such as driving to see the person, shelling out the money, and pretty much doing anything to keep the guy happy.
So, I have to ask: is this the new normal of the modern day relationship?
If it is, then I want out. Please give me a one-way ticket on a time machine to 1950.
Call me old fashioned, but I think that the guy should pay for the first date. I think it’s a sign of respect. Depending on the situation, I also think that the guy should pick the girl up. After all, you’re trying to win her over, am I right? Therefore, you need to put the effort in to woo her. And, chances are, she was probably fed on a diet of romance movies and Nicholas Sparks.
However, as time goes on, I think that both the guy and the girl should shell out the effort in the relationship. This is especially true if it is a long-term relationship.
It bothers me more than anything to see someone who always goes out of their way for their partner — only to get the favor not returned. I think both parties should always do whatever they can to showcase that effort. For instance, if someone is consistently doing the driving, and the other party doesn’t make an attempt to help out with that, then that’s a problem.
At the end of the day, I am spoiled in my relationship. My boyfriend picks me up, and pays for a good portion of the meals. Every now and then, I do contribute. I make the drive to see my boyfriend when I can. Not as often as my 86-year-old grandmother would like. However, I think that’s a good medium, since both parties are contributing.
By having that happy medium, I feel as though both parties are respecting each other. Respect is number two in the relationship — right after trust.
And, seeing someone who puts all of that effort into a relationship with the partner on the sidelines? I see no respect there.
So, if you are in this kind of relationship, know that you deserve much better than what you are getting. Why? Because everyone in this world deserves someone that is devoted to them and their happiness. That’s why I get so happy when I see someone spoil their boyfriend the same way he spoils her. I think we all deserve that.