I’ve been a reader for as long as I can remember. When I was in elementary school, I was the girl always with a stack of books in hand, found solstice in the library in high school, and I even majored in writing with the hopes of writing my very own book.
My love for reading continued as an adult, and grew when I got my Nook and Kindle. It further expanded when I got a bookstagram account, and connected with readers all around the world who would review their books or take the time to create artsy photos with books. To this day, I still regularly watch booktube, where people vlog about their reading experiences, and I would pull up Goodreads to add what they were reading if it sounds good to my TBR.
However, for the last few months, I have found myself struggling to pick up a book and keep a book in my hands. I swear it’s not the book’s fault — it’s mine. I would find myself scrolling on TikTok after reading a few pages. I would only get through 10 pages before I would close the book for whatever reason.
Because of this, reading has become a chore to me in some ways in the efforts to try to reach my Goodreads goal. I had been behind several books. And the more that I become behind in my goal, the more overwhelmed I would then become.
It is then I ask myself this question: isn’t reading supposed to be fun? Isn’t this supposed to be a hobby that I enjoy to relax, not give me stress and anxiety?
Well, yes. No one is forcing me to read a book, nor am I getting graded on it. Especially since I’m not a book influencer, and reading is something that I do because I enjoy it. I don’t make money reviewing books, nor do I create bookish YouTube videos. Add in the fact that I also work full time, and have other hobbies than reading.
The funny thing about consuming so much book content is the comparison aspect. Oh, that person is finishing 4 books a week, why can’t I? Or when I compare myself to how I was reading last year, a time when I took the train to and from work and had a lot of time to read. I also got married last year and read a lot on my honeymoon, and read a lot in the pool.
However, what I’ve come to realize is that my time reading is changing, as things do in life. That is perfectly okay. The worst thing I can do is force myself to pick up a book. After all, I had a lot of assigned reading as an English major — the last thing that I need to do is continue to force myself to do so when I am not graded or even forced to.
I’ve entered a new season of life, and that is okay. That season is going to be spent doing all of different things, not just spending in a book. It doesn’t mean I no longer love reading. It just means that I am not forcing myself to read when it doesn’t feel right.
After all, reading is supposed to be fun and that’s no question.
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