I got some pretty upsetting news one night this week. As a result, I began to cry. It just happened. It felt natural to cry in that moment. However, during that time I was crying, I was told to stop because it was a sign of weakness.
How can something that feels so natural in the moment be considered to be something that is so criminal?
According to an article on Enlightened Solutions entitled Crying is a Sign Of Strength, Not Weakness, the usual reaction one someone is crying is “ssssh don’t cry.” The article says that what they are actually saying is “stop expressing your emotion through crying, it’s making me uncomfortable,” translating into “your emotions make people uncomfortable.” This is eventually turned into the root of it all, which is “feelings are bad.”
Well, if they are bad, then why do I have them?
How many of us burst into tears after a death, a bad day at work or learning that you didn’t get the job that you were 100 percent certain that you were getting? How many of us apologize after bursting into tears to those around us. My question is, why are they doing it?
In case you didn’t know, we are humans with emotions and the need to express them. Crying is one of the healthy ways to express the emotions, as well as a way to begin the healing process. And, the article says that “high percentages of people feel a relief after crying.”
So, why is it so bad to cry?
Personally, I am always unsure what to do when someone is bursting out in tears in front of me. However, that awkwardness doesn’t mean that I am going to turn around to tell them not to.
Honestly, crying is healthy. It’s saying that I am sad because my boyfriend broke up with me.” It’s saying that I am sad and I am dealing with it. And, that’s okay. Sure, crying make not be the ultimate solution for your problems. It’s not going to make that boy take you back. However, it’s saying I have emotions and I am dealing with them.
So, why are we not celebrating one’s ability to do so?
Maybe it’s because emotions are kind of like periods. Everyone has them, but no one wants to talk about the matter.
Which sucks when you have a lot of emotions that you’re trying to bottle them in.
So, let’s try to develop a healthy relationship with crying. Let’s cry when we feel sad, because that’s okay. And, if someone tells you to stop, instead of bottling it in, go somewhere where you can cry alone without judgement.
Because you are strong for crying. Not weak.