I leave you behind for a sign that says
“Welcome to New York.”
You didn’t want to come with me to my new world,
so I had to leave you in Connecticut.
I clutch my Starbucks in one hand, and my suitcase in the other,
my name is written in Sharpie marker in the blank space
on the Starbucks cup.
I walk down storefronts, with mannequins that had more
style, money and poise than I ever will.
I used to think that “we’d never go out of style.”
The city seems to engulf me,
but my mind seems to span farther than the skyscrapers.
I will never be out of the woods or in the clear from you.
the memory of you screaming at me
“all you had to do was stay,”
haunts me.
I just can’t shake it off your facial expression
as I walked out that door.
I look down at my phone,
no missed text messages,
no missed calls.
I would never text you,
but I wish you would text me.
There’s nothing but bad blood between us now,
where there used to be “mad love.”
not even in my wildest dreams.
I see a guy catcalling a girl from a cab,
and I can’t help but think is,
that’s not how you get the girl,
but you didn’t know how to keep one.
But soon, my mind comes back on you,
this love is something that will never leave me.
I know places where the memories won’t hurt me,
that’s in the city in my new life.
Maybe the Big Apple is where I’ll be finally clean,
away from your ghost,
and your imprint on my heart.
Note: The poem was inspired by the album 1989 by Taylor Swift.
thenutmegmillennial.com 