Learning to Forgive

In my 22 years on this planet, I’ve had my share of hurt feelings and wrongdoings — broken hearts caused by my few exboyfriends, friends who thought it was okay to talk behind my back, and so on. You know, all of the drama that you would see on a reality show.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of the concept of forgiving those who have hurt me, and the proper way to express hurt feelings. When we were little, forgiveness was similar to slapping a Band-aid on a cut. You would hurt someone’s feelings, and an ‘I’m sorry’ would be the instant way to heal the damage. Now that I am well past my playground days, forgiveness, like everything else that comes with adulthood, has an extra layer of complication to it.

But, why is that? Why is it so hard to forgive?

Let me just say this — forgiveness is hard! How do you forgive your ex for cheating on you and breaking your heart when you still are licking your wounds? How do you forgive your friend for saying awful things about you behind your back, when you still aren’t speaking to your friend as a result? It’s not easy, and it’s okay to express that you are hurt.

But, eventually, you’ve got to move on. Enter, forgiveness. Otherwise, you’ll be holding onto the awful thing that happened to you for dear life, and carry it with you everywhere you go. My, that’s a lot of baggage.

I know forgiveness is challenging. I struggle with it, but I try to forgive those who hurt me, because I don’t want it to define me. I don’t want to be known as someone who is bitter about something, I want to be positive about what happened. And, of course, move on from it a stronger being.

So, the take home message here? Forgive. Forgive those who said they were sorry. Forgive those who didn’t. Forgive not for them, but for you. It’s not easy to do that, especially with relationships that ended abruptly. However, it can be done.

At the end of the day, forgiveness is the separation between the past and the present. By forgiving, you are allowing yourself to move forward. So, forgive for goodness’ sakes!

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