One of the most popular storylines on the hit television show Everybody Loves Raymond is a husband, usually Frank or Ray, ignore their wife or think that the spouse is either loud, annoying, and nagging. Of course, Everybody Loves Raymond is a show that goes back to the era when the housewife was a far more common profession for women, while the man would go to his work and provide. Nowadays, gender roles are more equal, but this does raise a question.
Is that what marriage leads to?
I am a newlywed, and am still apart of bridal groups on Facebook. One of the posts I saw was about someone who was asking about married life, and when they responded that it was great, they were greeted with the response “just wait.”
I get it. The shiny and new aspect of being married for the first six months is like a novelty. However, some of the best advice that I received pertaining to marriage was to treat everyday like the honeymoon phase. Now, I’m not saying spending some time together during a hotel trip, but it’s about the romance aspect of that.
Furthermore, now that a couple is married, oftentimes what happens is that couples forget — myself included — the importance of dating and date night. Sure, it’s not going to be as practical to do all of the things that you did when you were dating, but for the health of a relationship, it’s important to nurture it.
That being said, I want to pose the question of whether or not marriage becomes a chore. Approximately half of marriages sadly end in divorce, and this is something that is caused by a number of issues, including lack of appreciation and communication. Now, no one is perfect, but how do we go from being totally in love to hating each other to the point where we want to make the other suffer? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I look back to marriages that were successful— my grandparents, and my in-laws, and notice that love is the creation of these unions, but communication is the knot that keeps them together.
Will the newlywed phase last forever? Probably not, and the future is yet to be uncertain. However, I hope to learn some of the tips of the previous generations, all while leaving the unhealthy habits of the previous behind. I may not be perfect, but I aspire to work as a team with my spouse.
Furthermore, I think the other thing to examine is this: many couples at least in my millennial generation now live together prior to getting married. This is something that I think definitely helps people stay together long after the vows are said.
Which is something that I think that matters the most.
thenutmegmillennial.com 